About Me

I have done a lot of things in my life and have also worked in many different jobs to make a living and to experience life. This blog is just some of my musings, sometimes funny, sometimes inspirational, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, sometimes simple but all the time, it's just me.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Bethlehemenian Rhapsody



10 days before Chirstmas.

Perfect to listen to some different types of Christmas song.

How about this take on Queens Bohemian Rhapsody? I quite like it.

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Creative and Knowledgeable Nation

In Malaysia, we have many creative and inventive people.

Unfortunately, our wonderful inventors will never be known throughout the world for a good thing.

The sun is a wondrous thing. It provides energy, light but be careful, it can burn you too. We have solar powered Bible's being used to convert the Muslims.

We have wonderful magicians, who make USD24 million dollar rings appear and disappear.

We also have submarines that can dive into the water, we paid a lot for it but it's amazing that when they first came, they were just ships, as they could not submerge.

We also have boys who are sodomised without being penetrated.

Then we have all the creative people who take a huge interest free loan to set up a farm but end up buying condominiums in Bangsar. I wonder what type of cows they are milking in the condo's.

As for our inventors, we have created devices that can detect whether there is a laptop in your booth so that they can steal it.

We also have these dvd sellers who have a wonderful distribution system, but also 100% clear copies of movies available before it is even released in Malaysia.

These same dvd fellas have also created a copy device that can copy thousands of dvd's simultaneously. And be sure to buy the gold disc original and not the purple disc, ok?

We also have lousy thieves, so unlike the professional thieves who pickpocket, we have people who will snatch and drag until they get what they want.

Now we also have axe wielding thieves to break through your car windshield as you are driving to steal your bags that you leave on your seat.

In Malaysia, we also have all types of traditions and medicines that can cure virtually anything and everything even diseases that do not exist yet.

Also, we got LRT's in Malacca that would stop on it's own to allow tourists to admire the historical town as they are trapped within for few hours.

And we spend millions of dollars in a SMART tunnel to elevate the flooding problem in the city but hey, the tunnel does not cater for flash floods ok, only normal predictable floods.

In this wonderful country of ours, I still can buy 50cents roti canai when the rest of the shops sell it for 1 ringgit.

Also, we have cooking oil that comes in plastic bags that apparently can only be used once but people reuse until it is as black as engine oil after 20,000 kms.

There are some truly wonderful things in Malaysia that I can write and write forever. Gotta be proud to be a Malaysian.

Take care and be well

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Wow ... where have you been lately?

Wow, just realised I have not written for a while.

There is so much to write and yet sometimes not enough for us to share it with others, the public.

A lot of interesting things have happenned this year.

A lot of activity.

A lot of work.

A lot of life lived.

Perhaps it has come time for me to start writing again.

Perhaps maybe just other more improtant things that have occupied my time.

But even not so important things, like working too hard.

I am looking forward to a new day, a new dawn but then again, I live for today, do what I need to and trust that God and Universe will take care.

I hope I will be able to write more, maybe I will write some light hearted stuff, post some poems and songs.

Take care and be well.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

It's who I am



I really enjoyed the movie Secretariat. It's about a champion horse that was never considered a winner but won the Triple Crown and his margin of victory in the Belmont some 37 years ago still has not been beaten.

I really enjoyed the theme song from the movie as well. Really resonates with me. It is who you are. And it is who I am. It's who I am.

It's not the price
It's not the game
It's not the score
It's not the fame
Whatever road looks way too far
It's not what you have
It's who you are

It's not how fast
It's not how far
It's not of cheers
It's who you are

In darkest night
You make your sun
You choose your race
And then you run

It's never the glory
It's never the score
It's not about seeing about who's less and who's more
Cuz when you find out how fast and how far
You'll know it's not how much you have
It's who you are

You lose the moon
Then be a star
It's not too soon
Be who you are
Whatever road looks way too far
It's not what you have
It's who you are

It's never the glory
It's never the score
It's not seeing about seeing
Who's less and who's more
Cuz when you find out how fast and how far
You'll know it's not how much you have
It's who you are

When you have found
How fast you can run
Then you have found
Your place in the sun,
It won't be just you that you'll find
Has made the run and the climb
It's everyone

It's never the glory
It's never the score
It's not seeing about seeing
Who's less and who's more
Cuz when you find out how fast and how far
you'll know it's not how much you have
It's who you are
It's who you are

Learning to bend and not to break
Living to give more than you take
Dying to live
Living to try
Feet on the ground
Dreams in the sky

It's never how much you have
It's who you are

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Animals and Plants on Facebook


Saw this posting in a friend's Facebook profile and considering my furry boy has a Facebook, I thought it was awfully funny. If animals have Facebook, these are most likely to be their Status Updates. I added on some to what was already there ... so feel free to add more.

Cockroach : Managed to skip from some one’s foot step. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle.

Cow : Huh! They are touching my breast again..what they think I am? Bitch!

Mosquito : I am HIV positive this is all due to wrong sucking!

Chicken : If tomorrow I am not updating my status, means I am being served at KFC. Love you...all.

Octopus : I have just refilled my ink cartridge..hooray!

Octopus: WTF, now they are touching my breast to squeeze my ink out!!!

Cow : Friends, don’t go out, hari raya korban holiday is coming.

Pig writes a comment on Cow’s status : “Luckily I am haram” 4 likes.

Cow replies : "Don’t you remember that after hari raya korban is the Chinese new year."

Cat: I'm just going to lay around and see if I care.

Cat: lick lick lick "What you looking at? Jealous is it?

Dog: wagging tail My master's here, my master's here, hooray.

Cicak/Gecko: Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk

Cicak writes comment on another Cicak's wall who drowned in Bangkok floods: Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk

Birds: Ooh ooh ooh look at that shiny car, I'm gonna mark it with my shit.

Fish in Aquarium: You looking at me? You, you looking at me? Oh what the heck, nothing I can do about it anyways.

Fish is a restaurant aquarium: Owh no, here comes the net again, goodbye world, love always.

Bangsar Rat: Today was a great day, I had some chicken, some roti canai, some thosai, some fish curry, some mutton bones and for dessert, I raided the TMC garbage bins for some durians.

Ants: Ooh ooh, i got no time for Facebook updates, gotta run around aimlessly looking for food, just following orders. Bye.

Trees in Bangsar: Owh no, here comes that dog again, going to pee all over me and shit on my legs. Sheesh.

Trees in Bangsar: Oh no, here comes DBKL, going to bloody chop me down again.

Flowers in my garden: Owh no, here come the birds, always sucking on me? What do I get in return? Oh yeah, off-spring.

Flowers in my garden: Now the bees sucking on me. I must just be a sucker for these animals!!!

I enjoyed this and could probably think of a lot more, but time for me to work. So think of some and post comments.

Take care and be well.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Motivation

I am not lazy but like the poster says, sometimes I just don't care.

There is so many things to be done and so many things you want to do, but sometimes motivating yourself is not as easy as preaching motivation to others.

And sometimes, after trying to do something, you just loose the motivation and then you just don't care anymore.

Life is easy, it is living that is sometimes challenging.

Yesterday and even today, my day was spent praying, working, meditating, watching television, watching movies and eating.

Seems sometimes a waste of a day, like being lazy. But honestly, I just did not care to do anything else.

Perhaps if you read this, do share with me how you truly motivate yourself to do something.

Take care and be well.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Secure your seatbelts! It's a wild ride but get out while you still can.

When I did poorly in SPM, I thought there goes my career and hopes of a degree. I wanted to join some vocational/technical school and learn how to be a plumber, electrician or a mechanic. But everyone insisted that I should still pursue my degree which I did. Then I came back and everyone said I should find a job, which I did.

And since then, in the last 20 years, I have been in this rat race. The rat race burrows you deeper and deeper that after about 5 years, it becomes nearly impossible to get out, so imagine trying to get out of the rat race after 20 years. Not impossible, but almost impossible.

I reckon if I was a plumber or electrician or mechanic, I could have been worst off or I could have been better. It's all a choice but at least I could have done something with my hands.

So, when I hear a friend wanting to get out of the rat race and taking steps to do so, I admire their resolve and I wish them success and happiness and I pray for God to show them the way. It takes courage to do so and my hats off to them.

It is scary for them for sure but the cause of doing it and the guidance they have will pull them through this.

Unlike some others who cannot see that they truly have it all but lead a life which even I pity.

You will see a bunch of books addressing humans insecurities especially people like us who are mostly in the Rat Race.

Who moved my cheese?

Does it really matter? Why does it matter where your cheese is? How about trying to eat something else for once?

All the book does is to ask you to remain in the rat race, but think differently. That is utter crap and bullocks. 

Some managers are known to mass-distribute copies of the book to employees, some of whom see this as an insult, or an attempt to characterize dissent as not "moving with the cheese". In the corporate environment, management has been known to distribute this book to employees during times of "structural re-organization," or during cost-cutting measures, in an attempt to portray unfavorable or unfair changes in an optimistic or opportunistic way.

There is all the books by Robert Kiyosaki. Rich Dad Poor Dad blah blah blah. Does it teach you anything? How much can you really use? He even has this game called Cashflow 101 which was sent to me. I played it a few times and came out a millionaire, only because it is a glamorised Monopoly. It's a game, real life does not work that way.

John T. Reed, an outspoken critic of Robert Kiyosaki, says, "Rich Dad, Poor Dad contains much wrong advice, much bad advice, some dangerous advice, and virtually no good advice."

He also states, "Rich Dad, Poor Dad is one of the dumbest financial advice books I have ever read. It contains many factual errors and numerous extremely unlikely accounts of events that supposedly occurred."

Slate reviewer Rob Walker called the book full of nonsense, and said that Kiyosaki's claims were often vague, the narrative "fablelike", and that much of the book was "self help boilerplate", noting the predictable common features of such books were present in Rich Dad, Poor Dad. He also criticizes Kiyosaki's conclusions about Americans, American culture, and Kiyosaki's methods.

As for Cashflow 101, there are two stages to the game. In the first, "the rat race", the player aims to raise his or her character's passive income level to where it exceeds the character's expenses. The winner is determined in the second stage, "the fast track". To win, a player must get his or her character to buy their "dream" or accumulate an additional $50,000 in monthly cash flow.


Then there is Fish! A remarkable way to boost morale and improve results. Talks about Play (having fun while working), making people's day, being there for co-workers and choosing your attitude.

Maybe works great for fish mongers in Seattle?  In a video on YouTube, "Pike Place Hates FISH! Philosophy", a Pike Place Market employee informs his interviewer that the FISH! philosophy does not represent Pike Place.

"The guys that work here don't actually like the FISH! videos."

The employee states that they "put on a show" for the maker of the FISH! video for three days, and implies it's not possible to work all year round in such a way.

Some employees find these techniques ridiculous and demeaning. They contend that the idea of 'choosing your attitude' is naive and can be alienating for those with mental health problems such as depression, for whom a negative attitude is an affliction rather than a straightforward choice.

Let's try it in a multi-national company, it should boost morale. Right? Easy enough?

To grasp just how presumptuous Fish! really is, just try a thought experiment: imagine management’s reaction if the circumstances were reversed. Imagine the bosses’ reaction if you and your coworkers matter-of-factly announced that, henceforth, you would be working at a slower pace for the same amount of money, or that you would be receiving a higher hourly wage. Imagine telling the boss "you can’t do anything about these changes, but you can choose to have a good attitude about them!" My guess is your boss would demonstrate in short order that he does have control over events, and that it’s not his attitude that has to be adjusted. That’s because, while you may be powerless, your bosses most certainly are not.

I am certain my friends who are taking steps to get out of the rat race are doing so without having read any of the books above or playing any of the games above. They are doing it because they decided collectively to do so because of an inner desire and purpose to do so.

So, if you want to get out of the rat race, you make that decision. Sit down, think about what it entails for you, what steps you need to take to do so, how your lifestyle needs to change etc etc.

The books above will help you absolutely 0%.

As for me, after 20 years in the rat race, I need to to really reevaluate my life and been doing so lately. Not happy? Take action and do something about it and I have started.

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Crazy veggies

I recently did not have time to go to the wet market or Tesco to buy my produce, so, I instead went to Village Grocer which forms part of Bangsar Village.

Broccoli was RM26/kg. I have seen it either in Tesco or the Wet Market for between  RM15-19/kg.

Australian Celery was RM17/kg when the American ones in the market or Tesco go for RM6-7/kg.

Kailan was RM15/kg.

Local Pumpkin was RM6/kg when it is RM3/kg in Tesco.

Anyway, the point I am getting at is that there are many options.

Things have got really expensive everywhere and I am not saying Tesco or the Wet Markets are the best option for everything.

Many people tell me going to the night market is cheaper but I have found that for some fruits the night markets are not that cheap either.

Some months back, I went to Kepong wet market but while things there are somewhat cheaper, it is hard to get too, hard to park and hard to find for an outsider.

How about Selayang Wet Market - to be honest, I have not been there in ages, years but I reckon it is reasonably priced.

So, my haunts are either Tesco, Taman Tun wet market or in a rare ocassion Village Grocer or Cold Storage. I cannot find any chicken breast that is clean enough apart from village grocer, so I bite the bullet and pay the slightly higher price. In Tesco, the meat and chicken and fish section is just too unsightly and messy.

Anyways, recently, wifey read an article in the Star about organic vegetables. We normally have been avoiding them because of the expense but every now and then, she would buy some from this place in Centerpoint in Bandar Utama.

The article said that this place called the Little Green Planet delivered organic vegetables to you home once a week for a monthly commitment of RM160. Which means a weeks supply of  vegetables for RM40 a week.

For vegetarians like us, it is not enough for a weeks supply, but definitely quite reasonably priced for RM40. The picture above is what is delivered this week. You have the option for choosing Chinese style vegetables, Western style or a combination (which is what we chose).

For people who eat meat, fish, poultry - the supply is more than sufficient for the whole week for a family of 2-3. They have another larger package for RM60 or RM70 for family of 5.

The link of the Little Green Planet is provided above for you to check it out.

The vegetables provided last week were tasty and the free range chicken eggs were also very nice.

I am not really trying to give a marketing write-up for them but just letting you readers know that there are options available out there, not just in my hometown, but in your towns and cities.

We do not have to keep going to the Village Grocers that charge the price of Beverly Hills. We all have the options.

And perhaps, this has opened my eyes to eating organic - not because it is healthier or because of the environment - but because in this economy, price does matter.

Take care and be well.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Don't let it go to waste


This is my 817th blog, I expected I would have written 1000 blog posts but this is not to be because of my shift in focus the last few months.

I still continue writing because I like too but I am also busy in the midst of work and other priorities in life have take more of a center stage that has taken my time and thus inability to write a blog as frequent as I used too.

I am also writing short stories which I would eventually like to publish but this is on a different schedule.

Nevertheless, when I look back at 3 plus years of blogging, I am somewhat pleased at the increased readership especially this year.

The following are the ten of my most read blogs. Perhaps there may be some error in the way it is calculated as some of them certainly would have more viewers but not a unique click and not measured in the system. I am surprised what some readers find interesting but I guess everyone likes a different thing.
  1. Do you feel clearly, do you see clearly, do you hear clearly?  Apr 19, 2011, 1 comment 3,918 Pageviews
  2. It's tool time; what type of a tool are you? Jan 14, 2011, 3 comments 3,469 Pageviews
  3. El Nino and La Nina, for the 600th time already Aug 20, 2010, 1 comment 3,407 Pageviews
  4. Power of visualisation Apr 11, 2011 2,440 Pageviews
  5. Ho'oponopono - I'm sorry, Please forgive me, I love you and I thank you Feb 6, 2011, 6 comments 1,453 Pageviews
  6. A hot summer day Jun 26, 2011, 1 comment 1,371 Pageviews
  7. Auld lang syne Dec 31, 2010, 5 comments 841 Pageviews
  8. Experiencing a Personal Miracle Jan 23, 2011, 3 comments 776 Pageviews
  9. Relaxing the body and stilling the mind Apr 17, 2011 768 Pageviews
  10. Sejuk Giler Sunday Feb 1, 2009, 2 comments 711 Pageviews
I do not receive many comments on the blogs I post, sometimes 1 or 2 at most. But 3 blogs received somewhat more of a response, like the 3 below:
  1. If I were a girl - 11 comments
  2. People are people - 11 comments
  3. London, London - 9 comments
Some months my blogs have had a theme and direction and many times it is just my musings, my problems, my life, my thoughts.

Today is Halloween, and my thoughts are all on the ghosts roaming around. I would like to ask them what are they doing here? Have they not seen the light? Are they really ghosts or a figment of one's imagination?

I see jins and bunyans and pontianaks and orang minyak and hantu kum kum are very specific to this region like in Indonesia, Thailand and Malaysia. Makes me wonder why they never migrated to Australia or Europe or America like so many Malaysians have.

I think about angels and wonder, aren't they also some form of ghosts or spirits or figments of imagination?

I think of middle earth and wonder whatever happened to the leprechauns and the fairies, are they coming out from middle earth anytime?

I think of the genie in the lamp, what happened after the 3 wishes? Was it set free? Are there other genies in the lamp?

I think of psychics and palm readers and people who see your future. Why are they still going around and making money this way? Why don;t they predict the next big lottery number, win it and retire and enjoy the rest of their lives?

I think about God and the Universal energy and sometimes wonder why we are not created equal. Which one of us are created in his image?

I think about my soul and my body and feels the soul which is the energy is reunited with Universal energy but the body is the one that is eco-friendly as well, recycled, reused and not gone to waste.

My ashes will become fish food and fertilizer for plants and grass which in turn will be eaten by cows and goats.

So one day in the future when I am no longer here, when you have a nice fish head curry, mutton varuvel or a juicy stake - remember, you could be having a piece of me.

Take care and be well.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Character

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you are, but  your reputation is merely what others think you are.


Do you really care what people perceive of you?

Do you care about your reputation?

Most of us do, although it perhaps we should not, it is not easily done.

Perception is not something easy to wash off. Neither is a reputation.

But in this journey that I am going through, I have started to care less of my reputation - be it good or bad - and not to bothered about people's perception of me.

If people have some areas that I can improve on to make me a better person, a better human, a better soul, so be it. Maybe it works and maybe it does not. Everyone and everything has a journey of their own.

A tree may grow old for hundreds of years and be chopped down to make the dining chair that you may be sitting on now, but such is the journey of the tree.

A cow could be happily be grazing around and be the burger that you eat in a month.

My body will one day be the dust, the earth, the fertilizer for the crass and the trees ... thus, in that sense, one day I will be "eaten" by the cow or the tree or the fishes of the sea.

Until that day come, I am still in this form.

My soul, not I know where it goes.

Energy just converts to another energy form.

My character is all I know and build and live.

Take care and be well.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Deadly Virus Alert

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Take care and be well.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

What drives your life?

A friends statement in Facebook read, "These days people are more busy finding parking spots for their car than finding parking spots in people's heart."

To expand this a little, people, including myself - guilty as charged, are busy busy busy. And it is all about me, me, me.

How many take time to just sit quietly every day? Or meditate? Or speak to God or listen to God? Or be one with Universe?

Sorry, I am too busy. No time. We are no longer driven in life by the right things, the things that ought to matter.

In Rick Warren's book The Purpose Driven Life, he starts the book by the biggest and simplest revelation, "IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU!"

So what drives your life?

Many are driven by guilt. They spend their whole lives running away from regrets and hiding their shame. They allow their negative past to control their present and their future.

It took me a while from having the dark knowledge of my past, way way past, lives long gone, to be able to move on in the present.

Many are driven by resentment or anger. They spend their whole life being angry at something or someone and sometimes even at themselves for nothing. People hold on to hurts from the past and never learn to let them go. Eventually this anger and resentment controls them.

Many are driven by fear. We all have some fears but when we are driven by fear, it consumes us. 

Many are driven by materialism. Most people driven by material goods will never have the spiritual peace. They are driven to acquire more and more possessions and believe that security can only be found in having more.

Many are driven by need for approval. Many people allow their need for other people’s approval to control their lives. They spend their lives worrying about what others think of them.

There are five main benefits to living a purpose-driven life. They are:
  1. Knowing My Purpose Gives Meaning To My Life - Humans were made to have meaning. Without purpose, life is meaningless. A meaningless life is a life without hope or significance. This is a profound statement and one that everyone should spend time pondering. Universe gives purpose. Purpose gives meaning. Meaning gives hope and significance. There is awesome truth contained within that logic.
  2. Knowing My Purpose Simplifies My Life - My purpose becomes the standard I use to determine which activities are important and which are not. If an activity does not further my purpose it can, and often should, be removed or ignored. My purpose gives me the foundation on which to base decisions and allocate my time and resources.
  3. Knowing My Purpose Focuses My Life - With a determined purpose I can focus my time and energy on what is truly important. Without purpose I may always be getting distracted and changing direction. Focusing on a few things that fulfill my purpose will yield better results than attempting to focus on many things that may not.
  4. Knowing My Purpose Motivates My Life - Purpose produces passion. By knowing my purpose I will be passionate about achieving it.
  5. Knowing My Purpose Prepares Me For Eternity - My time on earth is nothing more than a preparation for eternity. What matters in the end is not whether people remember me after I am gone but what Universe says about my life. Building an eternal legacy is far more important than building an earthly one.
You know, in the book, Warren takes you through a 40-day journey.

In January this year, I talked about a 30-day journey.

Today, I tell you a journey does not require 30 days or 40 days or 100 days. It does not matter how long you remain on the journey.

What is most important is the first step to start a journey. Most people who read this may not even start on their journey, some are already well into their journey. Either way, the most important and critical path of any journey is starting one.

So, come on, do it, take that first step, make that first decision, start your journey.

Take care and be well.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

007


I have seen all James Bond flicks, yes all 22 plus of 1. Why 22 plus 1? Because 22 were official James Bond flicks whereas 1 is not.

Can you guess which one?

Never Say Never Again, 1983 - This movie is included in the James Bond movie list even though it is not counted as an "official" James Bond movie by purists as it was produced by a rival movie company. However, to those of us who just enjoy James Bond films, it's still James Bond 007 and hence its inclusion in the Bond movie list. Sean Connery returned to play James Bond 007 in the movies one more time.

My favorite James Bond until this day is still Sean Connery and I do hope he returns to play a retired 007 some day.

I was a little disappointed when they replaced Pierce Brosnan but Daniel Craig has done quite a decent job although some of his roles were crap.

So, what is new about James Bond?

Well the official 23rd movie and actual 24th James Bond flick is in production. The working title is 23 but they will obviously have some typical James Bond movie title to it soon enough.

Daniel Craig will be back as expected. But what is new is the villain.

Can anyone name me the actors name of a James Bond villain? There have been many memorable ones but none of them were huge actors or big actors. Most of the villains were just method or character actors who always played secondary type roles. None were academy award winners or really famous.
But guess what? That all changes now.


Javier Bardem has officially confirmed that he will be the bad guy in the new James Bond film

Definitely looking forward to Javier playing a villain in a 007 flick and definitely, I will continue seeing James Bond flicks even if they put stiffs like Timothy Dalton in the role.

Will you be looking forward to the next James Bond flick?

Take care and be well.

Monday, October 10, 2011

iLeft, vSad



So, one of the greatest technoventors of my time is dead at 56. I particularly like the tribute The Star newspaper had, just his picture and the statement, "iLeft, vSad."

Okay, in all honesty, am I sad? Perhaps for the moment I heard the news I was sad and perhaps I feel we have lost one of the greatest techno inventors but then again, everyone will die.

I am in this world for a very limited time as are you. I sympathise with his family who have lost a father and husband. I am not sure whether he was a good one or a bad one and it is not my place to judge. Some say he was a great philanthropist and others say he was not, who cares, he is dead. Some say he was Buddhist but even Buddha said he did not preach a religion but a way of life, so perhaps he was just agnostic or perhaps an atheist even, but who really cares? Does that really matter now?

Steve Jobs left a legacy but so did the inventor of television. Do you know who invented television?

I mean no disrespect to Steve. What I am trying to get at is that soon people will forget what you have done even if you are the greatest.

So, what is the purpose of life then? The key message from a book I am reading called "The purpose driven life" is that it is not about you. You are just a speck in this universe and you serve a higher purpose.

In Steve's speech above, amongst the key messages to me are:-
“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you ...truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”


Everything else is secondary. Your time is limited in this world. Only you decide how you serve your time.

"The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

This is more difficult because most of us work to pay the bills and feed the stomach. So, it is not always easy to find what you love and actually make money out of it.
 
As for me, I did enjoy blogging and writing but so many things has been going on at work as well as at home that I honestly have had to give up on things I love to do in order to pay the bills and feed the stomach.
 
This past month has somehow been more difficult than even in my working life and the stress has led me to an interesting path and journey.
 
I cannot promise that I will please you readers by writing more nor can I promise that I have the road to happiness because everyone has a different road and takes a different journey and has different priorities.
 
Take care and be well.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Pebbles in my shoe


This morning as I was rushing out to work, I had put on my shoes quickly and was sitting in the car and was about to reverse when I felt it. That irritating feeling of a little pebble in the shoe that only irritates you at a certain angle. I thought I could live with it until I got to work but as pebbles in shoes go, they are bloody irritating and you are so itchified that you have to get it out immediately.

So, the usual act, remove shoes, shake and knock the shoes upside down to remove the pebble and put the shoes back on. The pebble was still there.

It was not playing mind tricks, so again, I removed my shoes, and again knocked and swept the shoe with my finger.

Put on the shoe again and there, the pebble still was there. I then realised it was a pebble in my sock. So, I had to remove the sock and take that pesky pebble out before I was well on my journey.

You know, that's life. We get pebbles in our life all the time.

But sometimes, unlike what we do with pebbles in our shoes, we just continue and keep living with the pebbles in our lives, we hope they will dissolve without us doing anything.

What inevitably happens in life is that the pebbles become stones that become rocks that becomes boulders that becomes mountains that perhaps only Prophet Mohammad can move.

If we were just to take care of those pesky pebbles when they are still pebbles, we would not be faced with mountains to overcome all the time.

But we don't. Why is that so?

I have so many mountains that have been built up over the years plus all the boulders and rocks and stones, that the pebbles do not matter anymore, you become immune to them.

But you know what, while I wait for a plan on how to scale the mountains that have already been built in 42 years of my life, I pledge to deal with the pebbles right now. Quick wins as they say.

So, I start to deal with pesky pebbles in my life while I figure out the mountains.

I do not like something, I say it then and there and pffft, the pebble disappears, that won't be a mountain no more.

One day at a time. Deal with pebbles while scratching the head on how to scale the mountains. And scale the mountains one step at a time.

Perhaps I could get advice from the Malaysian government, looking at the construction, they are able to quickly dissolve all the hillside and slopes into apartments and bungalows. But then again, on issues that matter, they tend to make mountains out of molehills,.

So, we rely on one true God, one supreme power in the Universe, seek his help to guide me in conquering the mountains and with His blessings, destroy the pebbles that crop up in the shoes while scaling these mountains that once were pebbles too.

Take care and be well.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Leave of absence


1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I would first like to apologise to people who have been reading my blog frequently and finding some peace and solace and hope in my writing.

The apology is because I have not been frequently writing about peace, hope, faith and love but recently been writing about despair, depression, trust and other things.\

In January I went on a 30 day journey which at that time was good for me and I have been on quite a roller coaster journey since returning from Sarawak last year.

Coming home is not necessary good but sometimes one goes away to run away from the issues and problems they have in life.

Sarawak was my escape.

Returning back to KL, I really had a culture shock and in no time was against the wall that I had tried to break through previously.

Work sucked, money lacked, nobody seemed to care and nobody seemed to understand. I was again at my wits end.

Recently I realised I have been doing things for others, loving others, serving others but not once have I really loved myself.

Yes some people can be selfless, but they are prophets and son's of God. I, as far as I am aware, is no prophet although sometimes my writing can be prophetic.

Currently, I find that I do not love myself. Thus, lacking this love within my heart has been tearing me apart. And that loving myself is the key to getting past this concrete great wall that stands in front of me.

It is a realisation that I need to love myself. How, I am not sure. All suggestions from you readers are welcome.

My journey is going to be interesting, a journey to love oneself is a journey within.

I have been devouring books, from Japanese writes, to African to South American. I have been searching for the topic of love. I have been going to church in order to search the message of Jesus, after all Jesus was sent to this earth with a message of love.

I have been going through the Jain Sutras and the Hindu Vedantas as well as Bodhisatva in search of this.

I have been reading one self help book after another, books from likes of Dr Phil and Dr Darren Weissman who talk about infinite love and gratitude. I have been reading up more on Ho'oponopono and other shamanic methods.

I have been taking courses in Reiki and other holistic areas, doing meditation, seeing psychics, reading Tarot cards.

And despite all of these, I am still on the wrong side of the concrete wall. Maybe that is the thing, maybe this is the end, maybe it is best for me to turn around and walk all the way back but I am no Benjamin Button.

Thus, I am also apologising as I have not been writing frequently and in this journey within myself to find the love within, I will be writing less frequently. Mainly because I do not have the motivation and I have nothing to say.

I wish it was as simple as being the Grinch who in the end had his small heart grew three times.
"He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought... doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps... means a little bit more! And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say - that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then - the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two! "

So folks, with this, I seek a short leave of absence to find myself, to find love within me, to enjoy my life once more. Perhaps I never did before. Perhaps I have always been an intense of a person. But the wall is in front of me and I can go on no longer this same way.

Until then, perhaps in a few weeks, or a month or so ....

Take care and be well.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Taking the shackles of my feet, but I still can't dance



Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you
In the corners of mind
I just can't seem to find a reason to believe
That I can break free
Cause you see I have been down for so long
Feel like the hope is gone
But as I lift my hands, I understand
That I should praise you through my circumstance
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you
Everything that could go wrong
All went wrong at one time
So much pressure fell on me
I thought I was gon lose my mind
But I know you wanna see
If I will hold on through these trials
But I need you to lift this load
Cause I can't take it anymore
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you
Been through the fire and the rain
Bound in every kind of way
But God has broken every chain
So let me go right now
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you

Praising, my shackles been taken off my feet but I still can't dance. I guess the shackles have been on for too long that the feet have forgotten how to dance. Or the mind has forgotten the steps. Or the heart has forgotten the spirit.

Got to find the spirit and love in the heart. Got to let the mind be free again. Just taking the shackles off just would not do. Free my mind, open my heart, go within, find that love for love will conquer all.

Take care and be well.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Courtesy is dead, long live Curtness

"Life is short, but there is always time for courtesy." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Holding a door for a stranger, especially a woman or child.
Saying "Please" and "Thank You" often and with sincerity.
Giving up your seat for an old, ill or pregnant person in a bus or train.
Standing when you meet a person for the first time, and extending your hand openly in friendship.
Begging the pardon of others when you have unintentionally wronged or offended them.
Actively listening to the thoughts and ideas of others, and acknowledging with gratitude their willingness to share them with you.
Ignoring your cell phone when you are in a conversation with another.
Showing respect to your elders by using "Sir" or "Ma'am," if you are not already acquainted with them or you know it to be their preference.
Replying to emails, SMS messages or missed phone calls, even if it is a few days later or even if it is 1 week later especially if you are overseas.
Speaking kindly of others to people you, or they, do not know.
Many more courtesies, hardly ever seen now.
Simple hello, thank you and genuine love and compassion, gone.
Is common courtesy dead?
Being curt has become en-vogue.
The results surveyed cities, but curtness has become a Malaysian thing.
We no longer tolerate our neighbours, my neighbour once called us "bloody bastards".
We no longer say hello, we no longer care.
Courtesy is dead, I mourn my dear old friend.
Rest in peace and I will see you again,
this curtness in the world will kill us all,
before our time.

Take care and be well.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Hope, Despair, Hope

I refuse to be depressed,
'cause I'm totally obsessed,
with the feeling that I'm really lying.
It's an idea that I detest,
but once gotten off my chest,
I know I'll feel less and less like crying.
I won't yield to grim despair;
I must just grin and bear,
'cause I've other irons in the fire, frying.
If I'm burnt out or I scar,
when my words have turned to char,
it's not because this Smithy's stopped trying.
So life goes on and on,
and I know I'll carry on,
with the hope of a song in my heart.
I know I must be strong,
lest my quest to belong,
is diverted or goes wrong from the start.
By now I think you've guessed,
that life is no idle jest;
what scares us most is not just the fear of dying.
It is the panic and the stress,
of emotions long suppressed;
the narcotic of self-love and self-denying.
With the passing of the days,
I know I'll find a way,
to keep that song singing in my soul.
If my life begins to fray,
at ambition's sad dismay,
there is resource in disarray controlled.
So if you find you're not impressed,
by the things that I express,
and the knot of love between us is untying;
will you not think me a pest,
if I honestly confess,
that my life with you was truly satisfying.
Though there's no objective test,
we must know that we're possessed,
of a love that's true and real and gratifying.
And if we live our lives with zest,
and keep striving for the best,
we cannot lose unless no one is buying.
So as time begins to fade,
I'll keep the promises I made,
to press that song forever to my breast.
And as the closing act is played,
when the bill of death is paid,
my final breath will sing me to my rest.
~ A song of Hope by David Smith White


The memory of you emerges from the night around me.
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea.
Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!
Cold flower heads are raining over my heart.
Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked.
In you the wars and the flights accumulated.
From you the wings of the song birds rose.
You swallowed everything, like distance.
Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!
It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss.
The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse.
Pilot's dread, fury of blind driver,
turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank!
In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded.
Lost discoverer, in you everything sank!
You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank!
I made the wall of shadow draw back,
beyond desire and act, I walked on.
Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost,
I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you.
Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness.
and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar.
There was the black solitude of the islands,
and there, woman of love, your arms took me in.
There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.
There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle.
Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me
in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms!
How terrible and brief my desire was to you!
How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid.
Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs,
still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds.
Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.
Oh the mad coupling of hope and force
in which we merged and despaired.
And the tenderness, light as water and as flour.
And the word scarcely begun on the lips.
This was my destiny and in it was my voyage of my longing,
and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank!
Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you,
what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned!
From billow to billow you still called and sang.
Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel.
You still flowered in songs, you still brike the currents.
Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well.
Pale blind diver, luckless slinger,
lost discoverer, in you everything sank!
It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour
which the night fastens to all the timetables.
The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore.
Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate.
Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
Only tremulous shadow twists in my hands.
Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything.
It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one!
~ Song of Despair by Pablo Neruda


A lonesome seed lie cocooned in dirt;
dormant in well-packed ground.
He lies and waits in his blackened tomb,
of the day he will be found.
He sings his song of hope within
of vibrant petals on an emerald stem.
He sings of niche and promises which,
give his life some meaning.
For what he longs he can't be sure,
but he knows there is a calling.
But its golden rays are only his dream,
while he sings his song of finding.
As cool rains fall on his grave of fear,
his kernel's walls begin to tear.
He sings his song as he reaches through;
as if it were a prayer.
Pushing dirt and wiggling forth;
a twisting, squirming, grope.
Inching up through fractions of ground;
and singing a song of hope.
At last, he's through to sun and air,
and cries in joy at his new found lair.
He sobs to a breeze in a pasture fair-
and he sings his song of hope.
~ Song of Hope by John Emmett Anderson

Take care and be well.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
And every second I waste is more than I can take
And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me
With someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
~ Numb by Linkin Park


There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move, but I can’t hear what you’re saying.
When I was a child, I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I’ve got that feeling once again.
I can’t explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.
~ Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd

Numb.
Loss of feeling.
Numb.
No sensation.
Numb.
Lack of love.
Numb.
Ice cold frozen.
Numb.
Unalive, deadened
Numb.
Numbskull.

Take care and be well.


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Fake


Who's to know if your soul will fade at all
The one you sold to fool the world
You lost your self-esteem along the way
Good god you're coming up with reasons
Good god you're dragging it out
Good god it's the changing of the seasons
I feel so raped
So follow me down
And just fake it if you're out of direction
Fake it if you don't belong here
Fake it if you feel like affection
Don't be such a fucking hypocrite
And you should know that the lies won't hide your flaws
No sense in hiding all of yours
You gave up on your dreams along the way
I can fake with the best of anyone
I can fake with the best of em all
I can fake with the best of anyone
I can fake it all
Fake it if you're out of direction
Fake it if you don't belong here
Fake it if you feel like infection
~ Fake It by Seether

I do not have any original DVD. I never had an original VCD or VHS before either. I have all fakes.

And yet, all my music CD's are all real. My books are all real. My software in my computer is all real.

But what is real and what is fake?
Sometimes, life is fake and sometimes life is too real. But what is it?
 
Are the prophets real or fake? Is the Bible and Quran and Mahabharata a work of fiction or fact/non-fiction?
 
Sejarah Melayu (Malay History) ~ is it real or fake? Whose version is right, whose version is wrong?
 
It actually all does not matter at all.
 
Fake or real, it is a matter of belief and satisfaction.
 
Watching movies from a fake dvd satisfy my requirements enough but listening to a fake music CD does not, thus it is about satisfaction.
 
Religion or reincarnation or heaven and hell is also about what satisfies you the most, and what satisfies your needs is what you will believe in.
 
We are all fake and we are all real.
 
It is finally what you yourself think that matters the most. Someone once said that it is important to be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because character is what you are, but your reputation is merely what others think you are.
 
But sometimes, I am such a fucking hypocrite as I lie to try to hide my flaws, I gave up on my dreams along the way, I gave up on love and hope and I gave up on myself.
 
There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it.

But how do you walk away from yourself?

You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good.

Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't.

Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.

It ain't going to be easy, but it must be done.

Take care and be well.

Monday, August 22, 2011

I do not know how to write

I had a dream. In the dream, I woke up in one morning as usual, but nothing was usual anymore. I could not write anymore, maybe I could never write, but now, I could not even write a simple sentence

Maybe it was not a dream or is it.

I have been attending this creative writing course but my writing has not improved much. I guess practice makes perfect but when there is so many other things in life, so many other issues that takes precedence, writing get's left in the back burner.

To be a good writer, or to be good at anything, one must practice. How to practice if you do not have the time? Well, time is a funny thing. We tend to waste a lot of time in a day doing things that are not important. And we waste a lot of time in general. If we only took half an hour or an hour daily and cut off things that were less important like watching television and do something which was important and taught us something, then we would get better.

There are many things that can be deemed important in writing.

Opening lines in a story are very important. You must hook your reader. The tone of the writing should be fresh and distinctive. Create an immediate narrative pull; make the reader want to know "what happens next?".

Get the reader into the story straight away, and use crisp and unassuming language. Don't make the reader want to reach for the dictionary.
  1. Avoid Alliteration. Always.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
  4. Employ the vernacular.
  5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
  7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
  9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  10. One should never generalize.
  11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
  12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
  13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
  14. Profanity sucks.
  15. Be more or less specific.
  16. Understatement is always best.
  17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  18. One word sentences? Eliminate.
  19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
  21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  23. Who needs rhetorical questions?
  24. Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.
  25. It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions.
  26. Avoid archaeic spellings too.
  27. Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
  28. Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary.
  29. Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively.
  30. Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice.
  31. Subject and verb always has to agree.
  32. Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.
  33. Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispeling and to catch typograhpical errers.
  34. Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
  35. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
  36. Don't never use no double negatives.
  37. Poofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  38. Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
  39. Eschew obfuscation.
  40. No sentence fragments.
  41. Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions.
  42. A writer must not shift your point of view.
  43. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
  44. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
  45. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
  46. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
  47. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
  48. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
  49. Always pick on the correct idiom.
  50. The adverb always follows the verb.
  51. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
  52. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing.
  53. And Always be sure to finish what ...
Take care and be well.

Friday, August 19, 2011

I will find hope, peace, joy, strength and truth .... I will, I surely will

When life seems lost and so alone
No loving arms to hold you close
And time just passes by 
The emptiness inside wont fade away 
Till He came to show the way
We will find hope
We will find peace 
We will find joy 
That He brings
We will draw strength 
We will know truth 
Eternal life revealed 
Through Him
Like a ship out in the sea 
The raging tides sweep endlessly 
Blown forth from left to right
This sinking soul of mine can't hardly breathe 
Till His guiding Hands lifted me
I have found hope 
I have found peace 
I have found joy that You bring
I will draw strength 
I now know truth 
Eternal Life revealed 
Through You
~ Through Him by Patrick Leong

I have yet to find hope, or peace, or joy, or strength or the truth.

But I have hope that one day I will have hope, peace, joy, strength and the truth will be revealed. It is a journey, not a destination. I will surely find it one day, not today perhaps, but one day.

Take care and be well.