About Me

I have done a lot of things in my life and have also worked in many different jobs to make a living and to experience life. This blog is just some of my musings, sometimes funny, sometimes inspirational, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, sometimes simple but all the time, it's just me.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

It was a dark stormy night

The past few days have been hot and humid days where the skin prickles like you're literally being satay-ed on a skewer.

But tonight, the air is different. There is an eerie quietness in the air. The air is still and humid.

And then all of a sudden, a bright light across the sky lits it up for a split second. Was it an explosion, a UFO? Are aliens invading the Earth?

Then another bright light. And a few seconds later a loud bang kaboom like an explosion in a distance.

Another bright light and another explosion and then loud pellets on the roof of the house.

It just another tropical storm. Lightning litting up the skies in split second intervals, the thunder booming across the valley of mud that I live in and the huge tropical raindrops hitting on the roof sounding like air strike machine guns from Japanese bombers. Not that I have even experienced that but I have seen movies like 'Tora!Tora!Tora!' to know enough.

When I was young, I was extremely scared of the huge thunderstorms that we would have. The wreckage that you see in the aftermath of a storm was devastating. Old trees uprooted, branches all over the road, cars damaged.

When I lived in Miri by the beach, facing the South China Sea, barely a few hundred kilometers away from Philippines, the storms would come in from the sea, fast and with such a ferocity that would make Mirians cower in their houses.

Al E and I would stand by the balcony, defiant against the Greek God's of Thunder, Lightning and storm and think out, 'Bring it on boys!'.

The lightning litting up the ocean, huge waves crashing against the beach and the loud ferocious sound of the thunder was no match for the fearless dog and his master.

The beauty is all that the saw and heard. And the aftermath of the storm was a beautiful orchestra of frogs and toads that melodiously sang their tune into the dampness of the night.

While people everywhere are seeking happiness, the protagonist today is wondering, "Are all people seeking happiness in this lifetime? Or are some seeking to lead a sorrowful life? Maybe some are seeking for happiness in the afterlife? But how is that guaranteed?"

I think of every human being as his brothers and sisters.

And wonders why do some brothers and sisters commit suicide bombings or terrorists acts for the happiness of having 99 virgins in their afterlife. Of getting a river filled with milk. And a garden filled with most exotic flowers and fruits.

If the virgins were true, why would they now want to give it up to a person who just blew himself up to bits?

And would the river of milk not spoil and curdle into stinky sour milk. Furthermore, I do not even like milk.

And what about the fruits - something must be wrong if nobody else is eating them. After all, the law of the jungle is simple. If the monkeys or birds are not eating the fruits, neither should you.

I thinks about what my friend said a while back and brings a smile to my face. My friend wants to sue the government because a piece of his body was removed from him without his consent when he was young. He did not have a choice in it. They just cut it out and now he is mad as hell.

 It is a common ritual above, every Muslim boy goes through it and mostly without their consent.

I think of some Hindu and Jain priest who give up every attachment in their lives to live a life of detachment. To be closer to God.

But did not God intend for us to be part of society? Even if we detach from things, aren't we all still attached to this body? May as well commit suicide, that would be real detachment then.

I think of my native brothers and sisters in the American continent. Some of them are now doing a Sun Dance. The ritual varies among different tribes but all involve a flesh offering.  The purpose of the Sun Dance is to pray while maintaining a connection to the Tree of Life and sacrifice oneself to the Great Spirit.  Young men participating in the ritual are pierced through the chest by a skewer and the skewer is attached to a pole in the center of an arena.  This pole represents the Tree of Life.  The objective is to break free of the skewer by tearing the skewer through one’s skin.

Why would the Great Spirit want you to suffer and possibly loose your life and still call it Tree of Life? Seems more like the Tree of Death. More like survival of the fittest. This seems to be a good way to weed out the weak ones as they will surely die.

Then I think of my Shi'a Muslim brothers who whip themselves with metal chains and spikes during the Zanjeer Zani ritual of mourning for Hussein. And my Hindu brothers who pierce themselves with skewers and hooks during Thaipusam. Other Hindu brothers who make a pilgrimage without shoes on hot Indian tarmac. I also think of my Christian brothers in Spain and Italy who also whip themselves with various chains and spikes until they are bleeding usually during lent period 40 days before Easter and other Christian brothers in Philippines who literally and physically nail themselves on a cross during the Easter weekend.

I guess some people do want to lead a sorrowful life.

I guess living a life of happiness and love maybe will not give them the redemption they seek.

Maybe there is a different heaven for them.

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, energy to energy.

Everything basically goes back to it's common form.

I guess the world is big enough to have many different believes and followers. Some who would build arks and some who would walk down from mountains with tablets with commandments, some who would beat themselves, some who would fast without food or water, some who would even kill for their redemption with whoever God may be.

As for me and my faithful sidekick, I say to the storm, bring it on, bring on the storm, bring on the musical frog orchestra, bring on the pricking hot sunshine.

And for you, "Come in," I say, "We'll give you shelter from the storm."

Take care and be well.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

A hot summer day

I remember the day vaguely. It was a hot summer day. But in Malaysia, everyday can be a hot summer day. The cold January days of Wisconsin were just a blur memory of a past gone by. A time when I was much younger and had six packs to show for it rather than the half-barrel that now makes up my abdomen as my body ages by.

It is always a hot summer day in Malaysia, be it in January or in June. We have 2 weather conditions, hot and wet or hot and humid with the sun pricking your skin like you are slowly being barbecued by Robert Rayford on one of his many barbeque's around his swimming pool.

He has the licence to grill but apparently the Sun has beat him to it. I feel like I am slowly being cooked. This must be what is feels like to be barbecued or microwaved.

I think of the days gone by and the journey that has led me to my current destination. But this is never the final destination.

After all, our body has only one destination, which is to become the dust we are made from. Our soul too has but only one purpose which is to go back to the master energy source which we believe to be God.

As I am skimming through books to take on my upcoming journey, I wonder how many more journeys I will be taking before achieving my purpose. How much things will I see, how many people will I meet, how many will be people I care for, how many will show love and kindness.

Which book do I take on my upcoming journey. The Sea by John Banville which won the Booker Prize award in 2005 seems appropriate but starts out rather boring and cheesy. "They departed, the Gods, on the day of the strange tide. All morning under the bays of milky sky the waters in the bay had swelled and swelled, rising to unheard-of heights, the small waves creeping over parched sand that for years had known no wetting save for rain and lapping the very bases of the dunes."

Can the sentence be any longer?

Maybe I will go Asian and take Grotesque by Natsuo Kirino. I have not read many Japanese authors before, especially a female Japanese. Her books first sentence is, "Whenever I meet a man, I catch myself wondering what our child would look like if we were to make a baby. It's practically second nature to me now."

This is rather an interesting start that maybe makes me want to continue to read this book.

The last book that I am considering to take on my journey is one by a Malaysian author Lim Boo Liat who also writes something that is closer to my heart when he writes about Malaysian indigenous in his book Orang Asli Animal Tales.

I guess it is a collection of short stories and starts of interesting enough. "Being the 'dwarfs' of the forest, the shrews were easy pickings for the larger animals. So small and helpless were these shrews that they had little hope in vying for food against their competitors, much less defending themselves against those who preyed upon them."

It seems interesting but sounds like I am watching some National Geographic documentary.

As I sit here with Al E sighing by my feet, I finish this tale as I leap off from my chair to take him for a walk and then to start packing.

My life journey continues, my soul journey continues. Both searching for the path, the road less travelled or the one trampled on the most. The right or wrong path does not matter, nor does the destination really. The destination has already been predestined. The body will become dust ... from dust to dust. And the soul will become part of the Universal energy.

What matters is what I do on my journeys, on these paths that I am taking. What I have done is past, what I am doing is what matters. And what books I read to past my time on this journey will only guide me to something, be it just information or entertainment.

Which book would you take amongst those above?

Take care and be well.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Quantum Leap to a Quantum Life

Remember Quantum Leap? Scott Bakula ... was amongst my favorite shows.

How about living a quantum life?

This is what Dr Darren Weissman (or as I say Dr Infinite Love and Gratitude) says about living a quantum life.

I am definitely doing my very best to live a quantum life.

To live a quantum life, it’s imperative to do the following:

Live with vision. All great leaders throughout history have had a clear vision of a truth that resonated deep within their hearts. This vision became the catalyst that set into motion a new way of thinking, feeling, and being. All great leaders, as a result, maintain their clarity of vision regardless of opposition or perceived capabilities. To live with vision means to take the time to silence the mind so that you can see and embrace your truth. Activate the power of the sixth sense—intuition—and trust it to guide you.

Live with hope. Hope is a natural consequence of having clear vision. Its birth rises from darkness, fueled with the vision of promise. At its core, hope allows you to believe in what’s possible…if one person can, we all can. Feel this emotion in your heart. It’s the feeling that imagines, sees, and knows at every juncture of the journey. Hope is the reflection of truth, wholeness, divinity, and oneness. “Roll up your sleeves” and let’s work together. In a world where many see hopelessness as being as normal as the rising sun, begin today to challenge yourself to harvest and sow seeds of hope.

Live with passion. Passion is the energy of your will. It’s what empowers you to take action, transforming hope into possibilities. The question is, what’s your passion? What moves you to get out of bed every day? What makes your heart flutter when you think about it? Do you go to work just to get paid? Do you want to know how to live with passion? Answer this question: What would you be doing at this very moment in your life if you knew with absolute certainty that you couldn’t fail? Allow yourself to honestly and authentically answer this question—from the deepest part of your heart—acknowledging the every-unfolding inner voice of Infinite Love & Gratitude. Decide to act and live with passion. A moment of passion will transform a breaking point into one that is inspirational.

Live with discipline. Discipline distinguishes mastery from mediocrity—mastery that comes from spending time engaged in the journey, rather than sprinting the 50-yard dash. Living with discipline means being willing to change—to alter old patterns of how you consciously choose to respond to your life. With discipline, you can gain insight and wisdom into your true nature. When you accept the inevitability of change, you choose healthier options for yourself.1 Rather than being a rigid set of rules, living with discipline is based on conscious acts of self-love. It’s loving yourself enough to choose between the pleasures of the moment and the possibilities of an infinite spirit.

Live with gratitude. These days, almost everyone is talking about gratitude.
My role is to accept what happens to me and to do what I can with the possibilities that life offers.

Accepting this is a key to achieving it.

I am going to stop trying to figure out what I did wrong to warrant the problems that I am facing and accept it as part of what happens while living on this planet.

I know I can find freedom in this. Life is what it is. It is short, fleeting but beautiful if you so choose and desire it to be.

And if we can reach unconditional acceptance of that, then the door to true and infinite love and gratitude will open.

To live with infinite love and gratitude is to accept, embrace, forgive, learn, and live with the knowing that life itself is the greatest of all gifts.

My favorite crazy haired guitarist Jimi Hendrix once said, "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."

People are just power crazy nowadays. There are no more leaders but just bosses. There are no more teachers but just fake gurus. There are no more prophets but just preachers.

The power of love and the power of gratitude and the power of forgiveness can and will bring us to the heavens we seek, but are we ready to give up the love for power - of one person being better than another ...

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Change, will do you good

Sheryl Crow crows,
A change
(A change would do you good)
Would do you good
(A change would do you good)
I think a change
(A change would do you good)
Would do you good
(A change would do you good)

I am always a big proponent to change but then sometimes I am not. You see, generally, everything in our life is constantly changing.

But what remains the same?

My soul has remained the same while my life keeps changing.

My workplace especially seems to be very active in changing.

But the Crow crows, A change will do you good ... I am yet to see what good it has done.

Sometimes, constant change means you are unable to reap the rewards of the change that is already made.

Imagine if Apple came out with iPhone 3, 3GS, 4, 5 all on the same day or Windows came out with Windows NT, Windows 7, Windows Vista all on the same day.

Okay, maybe a little exaggeration, but imagine drastic changes without consistency, clarity and done through silence.

Hello darkness, my old friend; I've come to talk with you again.

There is absolute sound of silence in the upcoming major changes.

Just like last time, I am left to my own devices to determine that yes, there will be a major change and yes, my role as it is will not exists as it is.

Because a vision softly creeping; Left its seeds while I was sleeping.
And the vision that was planted in my brain, Still remains, Within the sound of silence.

So, will change do me good?

The last time it really did not and this time around there is hope as always because I feel I am better prepared, better guided, more grounded to be able to cope with these changes.

What has always been unfortunate about all these changes is how the management tend to treat employees like little kids and with gloves on.

I remember an article by an ex-colleague who has now left the company after the last change about silence.

He said many people brought up in big cities like Mumbai or Manila, the hardest thing to get used to in Europe was the silence.

Coming from Miri and KL and when I went to Rijswijk in Netherlands, I was also quite taken aback by the silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone, narrow streets of cobblestone.
'Neath the halo of a street lamp, I turned my collar to the cold and damp.
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light that split the night,
And touched the sound of silence.
And in the naked light I saw, ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking, People hearing without listening,

People writing songs that voices never share.

In my relationship with my wife, there may be silence or gaps in the conversation sometimes but that is just a sign of maturity and understanding of each other.

But with my dad, it is altogether another level of silence.

You know sometimes, when I am in a restaurant and I see a whole family - father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, son, daughter - go through a meal without saying a word to one another. Not one word.

And no one dared, disturb the sound of silence
"Fools", said I, "You do not know. Silence like a cancer grows"

Life may not be long but it sure certainly seems sometimes especially around all the silence.

Silence is mostly scary. People hate silence. When you are at a doctors room, a bad prognosis will likely be made after a few seconds onf silent contemplation.

In a horror or suspense movie, silence usually precedes something scary.

And right now at work, I am witnessing too much silence. There is just a lack of overall information and seems anyone that know anything has been forced to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

It is so silent that some people have not even heard of another round of organizational changes coming up.

As another blogger once wrote, what people need in uncertainty is other people to talk to them. And this is not happening enough.

True there are many unanswered question and some things are still in early stages and not ready to be revealed yet but it is always good to just talk, even if it to just say, "Look guys, it's coming but not much can be revealed yet. We hope by this date or so, we will be able to share more." And then invite questions, let people ask questions and take note of people's concerns.

It is never easy, and everyone is busy, not just leaders. There is uncertainty. There are always many many excuses and as they say, an excuse is an excuse.

Hear my words that I might teach you, Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words, like silent raindrops fell and echoed in the wells of silence.
And the people bowed and prayed to the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning, in the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence.

Silence generally reflects badly on all of us.

Go pick up a phone or go see someone and talk to them.

Go say hello to a stranger and genuinely ask them how they are doing.

Go say something to someone. Less silence please.

Take care and be well.

Sunday, June 19, 2011


Sometimes, life surely feels like Les Miserables. Do dreams really come true? IN the play, Fantine sings a song, I dreamed a dream as below:

There was a time, when men were kind
And their voices were soft
And their words were inviting
There was a time, when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they turn your hope apart
As they turn your dreams to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my dreams with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'd come to me
That we would live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from the hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

I do not know what happened to my dreams. I still have dreams but when I was young, I never dreamed I will be working as a IT Global Service Manager in a big oil and gas company.

I did not dream that at 42, I will still be stressed about the things in life like finances, bill payments, job satisfaction, motivation, drive.

So, what happened to all my dreams when I was young?

Dreams of making it big? Travelling on my own private jets? Of having no worries in the world?

Dreams that people will treat each other as equals?

Dreams that money will no longer be of value and people will do what they are good at?

I dreamed of a world like Star Trek, where people do not work for money anymore as there is no need for money.

But the thing is, I still have not given up dreaming. I am sure you have not given up dreaming as well.

It is nice to dream, but how do we make dreams into reality?

That is where the secret lies.

Some would say it is karma, basically what you are is fated as such.

Some would say that your mind can do wonders, you can open the secret to your wealth and happiness.

But The Secret does not actually reveal true secrets.

Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.

But are we then saying those who do not achieve their dreams are those who do not believe?

The Bible in Mark 11:24 states, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

I have prayed, I have asked, I have believed .... now I wait for "it" to be mine.

I will keep dreaming, hoping and wishing and most of all believing.

As a wise man once said, "We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true."
Take care and be well.

Saturday, June 18, 2011


Interesting video on the anxiety of choices in the capitalist world.

How do we make choices and why do we have so much anxiety when making choices?

This touches in believes as well.

What do you believe in? Are these your true believes or because others believe it and you do not want to offend others beliefs?

And choice always involves in some loss. And we also perceive guilt.

This is the ideology of capitalism.

Anyways, take 10 minutes to view this video.

Sometime soon, I will talk about The Age of Reason.

Take care and be well.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Life stands still

I have not been here for a year and a half but it seems like I was here yesterday.

Life seems to have stood still but people have moved on.

Yes there is a new mall that is now open which was still in construction when I left.

And yes, the MYY mall near the old office is coming up to create more congestion around the small lanes it is being built around. And another mall in an area that I would not normally pass by.

There is that odd construction or another.

The office looks the same, except for a few little changes here and there.

The people are the same, the smiles, the greetings ... but something has changed.

I thought maybe only I have changed. But many things have changed too.

Sometimes, it is in the stillness of my life that I find my motivation.

Sometimes, it is in the stillness of my mind that I find peace.

Sometimes, it is in the stillness of the air that I find messages in the sky.

What has changed? Everything has changed, nothing has changed .... even change has changed.

Transition becomes Strategy Refresh, same old thing with a different name. Outcome uncertain, life the same.

The only thing I am missing as I sit here is home. The only thing I have missed here are the people.

But life sometimes stands still and life sometimes moves on at a break-neck speed.

I am not sure which I am happy with. Standing still, no change, no progression, no movement or move at a breakneck speed, rebel with a cause, get things done, no nonsense.

Ramblings and musings. Love, Gratitude, Forgiveness.

Take care and be well.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Religiously spirtual and Spiritually Religious

Of or pertaining to religion; concerned with religion; teaching, or setting forth, religion; set apart to religion; as, a religious society; a religious sect; a religious place; religious subjects, books, teachers, houses, wars.

The outward act or form by which men indicate their recognition of the existence of a god or of gods having power over their destiny, to whom obedience, service, and honor are due; the feeling or expression of human love, fear, or awe of some superhuman and overruling power, whether by profession of belief, by observance of rites and ceremonies, or by the conduct of life; a system of faith and worship; a manifestation of piety; as, ethical religions; monotheistic religions; natural religion; revealed religion; the religion of the Jews; the religion of idol worshipers.

An ultimate or an alleged immaterial reality;an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of their being; or the “deepest values and meanings by which people live.”
Spiritual practices, including meditation, prayer and contemplation, are intended to develop an individuals inner life; spiritual experience includes that of connectedness with a larger reality, yielding a more comprehensive self; with other individuals or the human community; with nature or the cosmos; or with the divine realm.
Spirituality is often experienced as a source of inspiration or orientation in life.
It can encompass belief in immaterial realities or experiences of the immanent or transcendent nature of the world.

There have been this discussion and sometimes debate about religion and spirituality. I put the images up here as part of this debate that sometimes goes on.

Some of my friends including myself sometimes say that we are spiritual but not religious.

I have close friends that are very religious.

Anything wrong to be religious and maybe not too spiritual? Or anything wrong to be spiritual but not religious?

And finally, is it possible to be both religious and spiritual?

Who is to say what is wrong or what is right in the first place?

I do not have the authority, the knowledge, the power nor the wisdom to actually say being either is right or wrong.

What is most important of all is what works for you.

If going to church and listening to your pastor every Sunday inspires you and motivates you to be a better person within your own right - then great.

If going to the mosque and praying 5 times a day is what gives you the peace of mind - not the war in mind to be a jihadist - then great.

If going to the temple and lighting a ghee lamp and walking around deities that you know little about gets you going - great for you.

If getting up at 4am and going to some Yoga center to listen to sermons about life and death and end of the world - great for you.

If you are persuaded by some bozo that the world is going to end on May 21 and then he says he calculated it wrong and now the world will end on October 21 - if that works for you, so be it.

At one time or another, Jesus, Mohamad, Budha, etc were all called insane bozo's  but they have a huge following.

I am not God to say the bozo in US with the doomsday prediction is wrong. Although I do not believe him to be right but that is my personal believes.

If Moses said a burning bush spoke to him and you believe him - it very well could have.

Brings me to this stupid joke. This is about 6 or 7 years ago that I heard it and George W was president of US at that time. Moses somehow through some time travel happened to be in Washington and as he was walking along, President Bush spotted him and recognised him to be Moses. So he called out to Moses and as soon as Moses saw Bush, he ran as fast as he could.

Somehow the Secret Service managed to catch Moses and brought him to Bush. Bush asked why did you run away from me? Moses said the last time he saw a talking bush, he was banished for 40 years in the dessert, so he did not want to do the same.

Ya ya, it is a stupid joke.

Whether you are spiritual or whether you are religious is of no real concern to me but does it bother you? Are you happy where you are?

If your divine soul in you is not happy where you are in your path right now, you have to find that inner happiness.

Of course, if you believe in bozo's and think you will get 72 or 99 virgins in the sky for killing infidel, then you are a bloody idiot.

Of course, if you believe some old bozo who can't even predict when he will shit next to predict the end of the world, then you are a bozo yourself.

But look at it, you have your life and I have my life.

When our lives cross paths and if it is wonderful, then great. If our lives cross paths and you find me to be a bozo and I find you to be a clown, then too bad.

And when relationships within family break and when friendships of years fall apart, there is reason and lessons in all these.

I am both religious and spiritual. The thing about me is, you will like me or you will hate me and I personally do not give a phuck if you hate me. I am only filled with love and forgiveness and gratitude for where I am today.

Take care and be well.

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Alchemist

Holy Divine Self in me,
Hear me now, I do decree.
Let violet fire of freedom roll
’Round the world to make all whole.
Saturate the air, the sea, the land
At Saint Germain’s divine command.
Let wisdom reign, God-power grow,
Let love prevail and mercy flow.
Let war now cease and evil bind,
Reveal the truth to all mankind.
Compel all leaders to be just,
For liberty is now a must.
Defuse all plots, expose all lies,
Let Portia rule and justice rise.
Now Zadkiel and Amethyst,
Consume all darkness, East and West.
May anarchy and terror fail,
God-government and hope prevail.
O violet fire of Omri-Tas,
Now blaze with blest Oromasis.
O masters, angels, now appear,
We see perfection everywhere.
We pray with you, both near and far,
’Til earth becomes the Freedom Star.
~ from the Hearts Center

How many of you have read the book by Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist?

If you have not read it yet, go read it. This blog is not about the book.

The definition for alchemy usually refers to an ancient tradition, the primary objective of which was the creation of the mythical philosopher's stone. The stone is said to be capable of turning base metals into gold and also act as an elixir of life that would confer youth and immortality upon its user.

The book on the other hand details the journey of an Andalusian shepherd boy named Santiago. Santiago, believing a recurring dream to be prophetic, decides to travel to the pyramids of Egypt to find treasure.

He then tells a lone gypsy about this treasure. As he leaves, the gypsy mentions one thing: If he does find the treasure, she wants 1/10 of it.

On the way, he encounters love, danger, opportunity, disaster and learns a lot about himself and the ways of the world. One of the significant characters that he meets is an old king named Melchizedek who tells him about discovering his personal legend: what he always wanted to accomplish in his life.

During his travels, he meets a beautiful Arabian woman named Fatima who explains to him that if he follows his heart, he shall find what it is he seeks. Santiago then encounters a lone alchemist who tells about personal legends. He says that people only want to find the treasure of their personal legends but not the personal legend itself.

He feels unsure about himself as he listens to the alchemist's teachings. The alchemist states "Those who don't understand their personal legends will fail to comprehend its teachings."

Melchizedek also tells him, "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

This is the core philosophy and motto of the book.

I am an alchemist. Because true alchemy is about self transformation. Self transformation is the goal of the most spiritual of alchemists. To seek a way to change the lead of negative human energy into the gold of divine energy.

And I achieve this from using all the colours of the rainbow which combined form the pure translucent and pure divine white. Amongst the highest of these flames and colors is the violet flame.

The violet flame is a unique spiritual energy that has helped me in many areas of my life. It has heals emotional and physical problems, improved my relationships, help me to grow spiritually, and just made my life easier.

The color violet has long been associated with spirituality. Having the highest frequency in the visible spectrum, violet is at the point of transition to the next octave of light. Saints and adepts throughout the ages have known how to use the violet flame, but it was only released to the public earlier this century by an Ascended Master called Saint Germain.

Ascended Masters are enlightened spiritual beings who once walked the earth like you and me. They balanced their karma (paid their debts to life) and fulfilled their reason for being. They then ascended, or reunited with God. Like Mahavir, Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Kuan Yin, amongst many others.

The following part of the blog is taken from other web sources and paraphrased to make it more concise and to the point.

What the Violet Flame Does
Ever wish there was a way you could wipe out your past mistakes?

While you can't go back in time, the violet flame has the power to erase, or transmute the cause, the effect, and even the memory of our past mistakes. The violet flame changes negative energy into positive energy, darkness into light, "fate" into opportunity. The flame also erases the resultant "bad karma" of our mistakes.

Our past actions - both good and bad - do come back to us. This is the law of karma. This impersonal cosmic law decrees that whatever we do comes full circle to our doorstep for resolution; simply, what goes around comes around.

The violet flame is able to transmute or mitigate our negative karma before it comes back to us.

On the physical level, the violet flame can help heal our bodies by removing the karma that makes us vulnerable to illness and disease. But the real cause of disease is often rooted in our mental, emotional and spiritual states.

How the Violet Flame Works
The violet flame works by changing "vibrations". The violet flame works by changing vibrations at a atomic level.

Atoms are mostly empty space. The empty space between the nucleus and the electrons is where negative energy and karma can become stuck. When the atoms in our bodies and auras become clogged with this negativity, the electrons whirl slower and slower, and we begin to resonate more with negativity, and less with light - we have a lower vibration, and become less spiritual.

The violet flame transmutes this negative energy. It does not simply surround and remove the energy, but transforms it into light. Because there is less density within the atom, the electrons whirl faster and faster, thereby raising your vibration.

When you have a higher vibration, there is more spiritual energy in your body. The violet flame frees up this energy and re-establishes harmony and equilibrium, propelling you into a more spiritual state of being.

My dream as an alchemist
The violet flame is a tool of self-transformation.

I do not seek physical wealth, but spiritual wealth.

I seek to transform myself into a more spiritual being, by becoming more loving, wise and compassionate.

The violet flame has the capacity to bring about this transformation by transmuting negative elements within myself. It has the unique ability to transform fear into courage, anxiety into peace and hatred into love.

Transmutation, then, was not just a process which turned base metals into gold, but a spiritual process which raised the soul into a state of unity with the Divine.

How to Use the Violet Flame
The violet flame is practical and easy to use.

Find a place where you won't be disturbed, and sit comfortably in a straight chair with your spine and head erect, legs and arms uncrossed and feet flat on the floor. Rest your hands on your upper legs, with palms facing upwards. Alternatively, you can sit on a true lotus position.

The violet flame is invoked through "decreeing" - a unique form of words utilizing visualization and meditation.

One of the simplest decrees to the violet flame is: "I am a being of violet fire! I am the purity Divine desires!"

Take a few, slow deep breaths and center in your heart.

Start out slowly, giving the decree with love, devotion and feeling.

Repeat the decree three or nine times to begin with; you can gradually increase this to 27, 81, 108 repetitions. Repeating the decree strengthens its power and draws down more light.

Once you are familiar with the decree, you can close your eyes while giving it and concentrate on visualizing the violet flame.

See yourself before a large bonfire, about nine feet high and six feet wide. Color it violet in your imagination, and see the flames pulsating and undulating in endless shades of violet with gradations of purple and pink.

Then see yourself stepping into the flame, so the violet flame is where you physically are. See your body as transparent, with the flames curling up from beneath your feet, passing through and around your body, clear up over your head.

Imagine the violet flame inside of you, going through all your body, your chakras and your organs, going in between all your atoms and dissipating the negative energies that may have been clogged up there.

To those who have developed their spiritual sight, the violet flame appears as a physical violet fire. You may also be able to "see" the violet flame at work with your inner eye, by concentrating on the spiritual center between your eyebrows.

Even a few minutes of violet flame will produce results, but persistence is needed to penetrate age-old habits you would like to change. You can start out with just a few minutes of violet flame in the morning to help you through the day, and you can add the violet flame to whatever prayers or meditations you currently practice.

I wish you all the best in using the violet flame in your life. I hope that you use it for the highest good of all concerned and if you do not, you are just increasing your own negative karma. So use it for good as the violet flame does not work for bad.

Take care and be well.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

They are at it again

The dog across the street, a mutt named Lassie starts to bark incessantly.

Al E gets out of his comfortable basket and as delicate as possible goes under the bed. Delicate as possible for a dog with claws on a laminated wood flooring is pretty much like a bull in a china shop.

So, I get up to see what the ruckus is all about. And open the bedroom door just in case Al E needs to pee.

Wifey is not in bed yet, likely meditating or doing her jewellery.

It is 2am.

I toss and I turn and wifey comes to bed. Usually she and Al E are my sleeping pills, so I try to get back to bed.

I take a drink of water and try to sleep through Lassie's barking.

To no avail, I lie wide awake for an hour and decide I have had enough. I am checking this out and I get up.

I go down and as I am about to slide the curtains open and open the front door, Al E comes trudging down.

So, I connect to Mother Earth, Father Sky and the Animal Kingdom and meditate. I ask Lassie and Al E what's up?

"Both tell me at the same breath, do not open the door, do not come out, they are at it again."

Not much needed to be elaborated. They are at it again but nothing can be done.

So, I continue my meditation. I do my Reiki symbols and send energy to Lassie, a dog that is always kept outside, so that I can protect him and give him energy to deal with whatever is out there.

He stops barking immediately.

Al E is sleeping by my feet but ever so alert. In his deep sleep, he twitches his feet but ever so aware of any movement that I make.

I take his green blanket and cover him up.

Then go on the computer for a while.

And after some calmness and stillness of the wee hours of the morning, I meditate again, connecting and seeking any guidance, any messages.

What are they doing again? Who are they? What is out there?

Of course all the answers I am somewhat already aware of but nevertheless, it is never wrong to seek some guidance, from the Universe, from the Divine, from Mahavir, from Babaji, from Jesus, from anyone that can help.

Within minutes, I see a video image like a old grainy color movie but using infra red in the darkness of the night. Something, someone is out there. Vampire strike back perhaps? Star Wars? Close Encounter of another kind?

Does not truly matter. What matters is they are at it again and this time, I am well prepared and protected.

As I am in meditation, slowly a violet light envelops me, then slowly my surrounding, the living room, the inside of the house and then it envelopes the whole house. The violet flame will protect the good and destroy anything that is not intended for the highest good.

The 1st line of defense is to have a shield. The shield is set and the occupants within the shield are well prepared.

Come on, come on, whatever you are, whatever your intentions, whatever your fight .... give it your best shot. You will be defeated, you will fail, you will not succeed in your evil intentions because this home is filled only with good intentions for the highest good of all concerned.

So long, just walk on by, do not even glance into this direction and leave Lassie across the street alone as well. Don't look back and don't bother coming again.

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Love does not heal everything

Okay, so a few days ago, I wrote love heals and now I am writing that love alone does not heal. I seem to be contradicting myself but let me go ahead and explain this.

I still do not agree with anyone who says that love has to hurt sometimes - reason being that hurt comes from ego and not from the soul.

Anyways, what does love not heal? Love does not heal diseased cells in your body. Love will not heal cancer cells nor will they heal your HIV or any other simple flu or cold virus or bacteria.

It does not heal all of this because the intention of love is wrong.

This blog is a similar entry to my Reiki blog where I write more details about intentions.

I wrote about how water reacts when you give positive affirmation of love and gratitude. How the water crystallizes beautifully when we just say I love you and thank you to water.

But now imagine this.

When you say I love you to your cancer cells, all you are telling them is that it is okay that you are a cancer cell and you are killing me, I love you nevertheless.

Of course the cancer cell is happy because you love it and therefore continues to expand and expands to others cells whom you have not said you love.

All the good cells around the cancer cells hear you say that you love the cancer cell, so when the cancer cell tells them, "Come into my fold, the boss loves me.", they know this to be true. So they too become cancer cells.

So, the best thing to tell these cells is, "Look here, you all mutated cells, go back to normal and I will love you. I do not like they way you are now and I do want you to be spreading and growing anymore. Go back to your normal healthy self."

And close to 40% of the cells will actually stop growing. The will eventually return to their normal self.

And instead of loving your cancer cells, love your normal cells unconditionally, the healthy normal cells deserve all the love so they can have this hippie love fest Woodstock gathering in your body and convert all those right wing cancer cells and other diseased cells to go back to their normal loving selves.

Closer to my own self and how this has worked for me.

After my accident, I had severe headaches and vertigo for close to a month. After going to see various useless panel doctors who continued to prescribe paracetamol and various other pain killers, I went to see one final top panel doctor and got someone that was really good who sent me to do some MRI scans immediately.

It was discovered that I had 2 slipped disc on my neck which explained the pain in the neck I was having on top of the headaches and the vertigo. These discs were pressing on some nerve and causing all these issues.

So, I tried physiotherapy and I tried Pilates but finally I used  Reiki on myself.

And then I used intentions. I had the image of my negative MRI scan in my head and I intended for the 2 disc that had slipped out to slip back into place.

It was literally a cartoonish imagination and intention of the slipped discs returning to normal.

And low and behold, I do not have the headaches anymore nor do I feel dizzy or have vertigo. There is still every now and then a pain in the neck but then again others around me are always being a pain in the neck sometimes ... so that pain in the neck needs to be handled with other intentions.

But love does heal many many other things and indirectly it does heal the cancer cell as long as the intention and affirmation is correct.

Take care and be well.

Monday, June 6, 2011

In and out

People come in and people go out of our lives. In our bodily life as well as our soul life, people are always coming in and leaving.

Somehow, many of us are hurt when people leave, whether it is through death, divorce, misunderstanding, etc.

Instead of rejoicing people that are in our lives, many of us including myself in the past are dwelling on people that have left our lives.

As mentioned in my previous blog, the soul purpose is to be as close to the Divine as possible. The soul purpose is to be divine.

Thus, people come into our lives and leave our lives for a specific purpose and reason. You may not know the reason immediately but there is a purpose to their being in your life or out of your life.

Somehow, we all seem to really get down about those who have left. I cannot pin-point the reasons for it, but we tend to focus on loss rather than what we have or what we have gained.

I have had many losses in my life. Friends through death, distance as well as arrogance, misunderstanding and miscommunication. I have lost "my human mother" through death. I have lost my siblings through similar reasons.

But what have I gained?

I have gained so much more in life.

I have gained many new interesting soul connections. I have gained my connection to one true mother, Mother Earth. I have gained one true connection with the father, Divine Universe.

I have gained connection to angels and guardians.

I have gained connection to love, gratitude and forgiveness.

I now no longer look behind at my losses but look ahead to the many good things I have in my life.

My life is not perfect, the soul of I is still on his path to be divine but it is well on his way.

People come in and out of my soul's eternal life, for a purpose and I thank them and I seek forgiveness and I give my love to all these souls that have touched or brushed my soul. Even if their intention was evil and bad, I thank them and send them love.

That stabs I used to feel in my back are now filled with love and gratitude in my heart, in my mind and in my very being.

Those in the past are just memories, soon fading away and blown away like dust in the wind.

In the end of it all, all we are are the souls that we are and everything else, our body, our clothes are just dust in the wind.

I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone
All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind.
Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do, crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, and all your money won't another minute buy.
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind

 Take care and be well.

Thursday, June 2, 2011


I have written about Reiki here before and this is going to be amongst my shortest blog entry.

I have started my own Reiki blog.

Yes, there may be many other Reiki blogs and a lot of information available on the net, but this is mine and mostly about my Reiki journey.

Nil's Musings will remain as my main blog but just as I also write in Al E's blog, I will also write in the Rainbow Reiki blog.

How do I find the time? And inspiration? And motivation?

I simply let the soul that is I guide me.

Take care and be well.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Devil's Child

Hypnotize me
Mesmerize me
Feel my willpower slip.
Light my fire
With cold desire
Losing all my grip.
Eat my diamonds
Drinkin' all my gin
Feast your eyes on
A whole lotta sin.
On no you're so damned wicked
You got me by the throat
Oh no got your claws stuck in my
You never let me go
I believe you're the devil
I believe you're the devil's child.
Took my dreams
And now it seems you're nothing but a liar
Smash and grab at all I had
Build my funeral pyre.
Stop pretendin'
Got me growin' old
Your tormentin's
Fit to snap my soul.
You took my heart
And left it blown to smithereens.
I gave my body as a slave
You cut my flesh
And drank my blood that poured in streams
I'm left here broken and ashamed.
Goin' under
Hear the thunder
Death defying grace.
Your condition breeds ammunition
Shoots me in the face.
Vivious talkin'
Stabs me like a knife
Scratched and bruised, so abused
I'm a human sacrifice.
~ Judas Priest Devil's Child

When we picture a devil, we picture someone that is red, someone with horns and a forked tail - well, that is the general image we have been programmed with since we are young.

A devil's child thus will not look much different from the picture above.

Now seriously .... how could we ever be enticed by the devil?

Imagine a bright red guy with horns and a forked tail and blood red eyes comes over to you and say, "Sell your soul to me, I will show you a wonderful place?"

Now will you fall for that? Who in their right mind would fall for that? Then I think of all those people who have been conned by various obvious scams on the Internet or through other media and I guess there are enough of people who will fall for a red faced, red eyes man with horns and a tail but a majority of us will not.

Now, if we do not believe in that image of the devil anymore, do we still believe in the devil?

For me, it is simple, Devil = Evil; God = Good. I believe in Good and Evil or Good and Bad to put it simply. And thus, yes, I believe that good people are godly and bad people are devilish.

But who am I to judge what is good and what is bad.

This is more a perception of an individual - some people, especially politicians seem to never do evil and always perceive themselves to be good. Yet, I generally perceive most politicians especially in Malaysia french clowns - the evil kind.

I was recently told that the child of the devil will be born this year and will take the soul of someone I am related to.

What does this actually mean? I wondered the same. Especially since I was also informed that I will find a way for this not to happen.

So, an evil child is going to be born. Hmmm, could be maybe the PM and RM were going to have another kid? That would be an evil child for sure.

Then again, for people like Mahatma Gandhi and Kasturba whom both were considered godly, their 1st son was evil and had to be even officially disowned by both the parents.

So, evil father plus evil mother not always ends in evil child and good father and good mother does not result in a good child.

Anyways, what is good and what is evil?

There are many opinions to this, religious opinions, psychological opinions, sociological opinions, scientific opinions but the only opinion that matter is your opinions.

In religion, ethics, and philosophy, the phrase, good and evil refers to the location on a two-way spectrum of objects, desires, or behaviors, the good direction being morally positive, and the evil direction morally negative. Good is a broad concept but it typically deals with an association with life, charity, continuity, happiness, and prosperity. Evil is more simply defined: the opposite of good. The good and evil of a context represents a personal judgment, a societal norm, or either's claim to an absolute value related to the human nature or transcendent religious standard for that context.

But Nietzsche said we need to look beyond good and evil and not blindly accepting Judeo-Christian premises in their consideration of morality. The work by Nietzsche moves into the realm "beyond good and evil" in the sense of leaving behind the traditional morality which he subjects to a destructive critique in favour of what he regards as an affirmative approach that fearlessly confronts the perspective nature of knowledge and the perilous condition of the modern individual.

I was among to only one person in the whole of Steven's Point Wisconsin who opposed the war against Iraq by then President George Bush. Everyone else seemed to strongly support the war. However, for me, there was no real excuse where killing 1 person is considered murder but killing 1 million people is called foreign policy.

Where the international tribunals are now pulling up war criminals for genocide. And many of these evil people involved in Germany, in Cambodia, in Croatia, in Iraq etc have been punished but it is okay for superpowers like China, US as well as NATO and UN to go into war and consider that protecting the innocent people although the have killed many innocent people.

Why are these so called good people considered good?

For a long time, I could not decide on the death penalty. I believed in it then I did not believe in it. Now, I have made a decision. I do not believe in the death penalty.

I do not think I would want to make the decision or be the judge and executioner. God will decide if it is good and devil will decide if it is bad.

I am here for a purpose. The purpose is to be Godly, meaning to be as close to God as possible, this to be good.

To be good as what I perceive to be good.

So, to that, I now seek forgiveness if what I consider to be good is not considered good by you. I thank you and I love you.

Take care and be well.