About Me

I have done a lot of things in my life and have also worked in many different jobs to make a living and to experience life. This blog is just some of my musings, sometimes funny, sometimes inspirational, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, sometimes simple but all the time, it's just me.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Let the past be, let the future come, be present now.

There is nothing like a dream
to create a future.
There is nothing like hope.
There is nothing like a wish.
There is nothing like pure love,
Pure joy and pure happiness.

We plant many seeds in our mind.
We plant many thoughts in our minds.
In a day, we are exposed to many negative, bad, depressing thoughts.
In a day, we plant these seeds into our head.
As you reap, you sow.
Bad seeds become reality.

As such, you need to plant good seeds.
Seeds of love.
Seeds of joy.
Seeds of happiness.
Seeds of positivity.

As we reap these new seeds,
The old seeds,
That voice in the head,
Will be discouraging, will be loud,
because many bad seeds have grown over the years.

The new seeds of love, of joy, of happiness, of positivity
These seeds will have to fight
There will have to be a combat
To defeat the bad old grown seeds.

The fight between good and evil
The fight between brothers and uncles
Is never easy
But good must triumph over evil
And the fight is necessary.

We must move away from our comfort zones
We must be in combat mode
Only then will the few good seeds
Be able to win the battle
Over the many bad seeds
Planted over many years of past.

Let the past be.
Let the future come.
Be present now.
The good is from now.
The joy is from now.
The happiness is from now
and love is from now.

Take care and be well.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Being 55

A good friend of mine, Datuk YAB turned 55 yesterday.

Why is it significant year?

You see, in Malaysia, 55 is the retirement age.

So, my good friend is now officially retired from the same company I worked him.

I met Datuk in October 2007 when I first moved to Miri, he was on the cubicle over from me and we got to become quite good friends over the years.

He is looking forward to his retirement and his travels where he already has a few travel plans lined up.

I wish him a very Happy Birthday.

And a wonderful retirement.

I know that amongst many other people especially men who retire, they need to do something or else they will be bored to death ... literally.

But Datuk will not be amongst this people although I do think he needs to watch his health a little, more so lately than ever.

Take care Datuk, may we win the lottery soon, may we have a long friendship and may you have a great life ahead of you.

Take care and be well.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A Man, A Boy, A Person

I am just a poor boy
Though my story's seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocket full of mumbles such are promises
All lies and jests
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest

When I left my home and my family
I was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers
In the quiet of the railway station running scared
Laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters
Where the ragged people go
Looking for the places only they would know

Lie la lie ...

Asking only workman's wages
I come looking for a job
But I get no offers,
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there

Lie la lie ...

Then I'm laying out my winter clothes
And wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the New York City winters aren't bleeding me
Bleeding me, going home

In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains

Lie la lie ...

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Round and round it goes

Heart's beating like a runaway train,
Knees hurting all over again,
Head's spinning like a hurricane,
Al E's sleeping under the air-cond. vent,
I'm trying to work with a bad connection,
While the room spins round and round.

Sometimes, one feels like crying,
But the tears ain't coming,
The tear ducts are drying,
Cause God is listening.

He makes the room stop spinning,
He makes the work go smoothly
cause the connection is working,
He makes the head stop spinning,
He makes the knees stop hearting,
Thankfully, the heart does not stop beating,
He slows the hearts beating,

But Al E to continues sleeping.
Unfortunately the rain is starting,
Which means we will not go walking.

Take care and be well.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Party till the break of dawn

Well not really dawn but by the time I got to bed it was 3am.

A small belated party for Sarah's birthday.

A small group of friends, talking, listening, conversing, caring and lots of drinking.

And not to forget the food, glorious food served up by the 2 actually 3 rasoyoo i.e. cooks not chefs ;-)

It started by me wanting to do a party for Sarah at home but home being in a messed just got cleaned up recently and it was sort of a delayed party.

The list started long but in the end was quite a decent group of 11 people whom could just sit around the living room and have fun.

JJ offered to help cook, he did chicken curry and his wife Princess did a fabulous potato dish.

JJ also cooked up a nice Persian rice dish called Shireen Polo which I helped - oh what a glorious rice dish it was.

There was salad, a tofu dish, stuffed mushrooms and a fish dish - pretty much all whacked up by my friends.

Then there was the wonderful Red Velvet cake from Gourmet.

Drinking, oh well, in total about 24 bottles of beer, 4 bottles of wine, 0.5 bottle of tuak, 0.5 bottle of langkau (refined tuak), 0.5 bottles of Glenfiddich single malt whiskey, couple of cartons of orange juice and some tea.

Some good times we had, some good times that will be remembered, this is part of this wonderful life.

Thank you to all, a sincere and heartfelt thank you.

Take care and be well.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

I will lay me down

When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Karaoke is fun fun fun and food and drinks quite reasonable too ... must do it again.

Who's up for some karaoke-ing?

Take care and be well.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Being me

I am at peace,
with myself,
with my past,
with my now,
with the world
and people around me.

I am not perfect,
That is being human.
I make mistakes and
I have feelings.

I seek for forgiveness
for my misdeeds and mistakes
of this life and lives before this and
I forgive the trepidations of the past.

It is time for me to be in the now,
to be at peace,
with myself,
with my past,
with my now,
with the world
and people around me.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it;

Trusting that the universe
will make all things right
if I surrender to the His will

That I may be
reasonably happy and
at peace in this life
and supremely happy
and at peace
Forever in the next.

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


My room has a shape of a cage
The sun passes its arm by the window
Hunters at my door
Like little soldiers
Who want to take me

I don't want to work
I don't want to lunch
I want only to forget
And then I smoke

Already I knew the perfume of love
A million roses don't embalm as much
Now only one flower in my entourages
Make me sick

I don't want to work
I don't want to lunch
I want only to forget
And then I smoke

I am not proud of that
Life which wants to kill me
It is splendid to be cool
But I never knew it

I don't want to work
I don't want to lunch
I want only to forget
And then I smoke

I am not proud of that
Life which wants to kill me
It is splendid to be cool
But I never knew it

I don't want to work
I don't want to lunch
I want only to forget
And then I smoke

Ma chambre a la forme d'une cage
Le soleil passe son bras par la fenêtre
Les chasseurs à ma porte
Comme les petits soldats
Qui veulent me prendre

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement oublier
Et puis je fume

Déjà j'ai connu le parfum de l'amour
Un million de roses n'embaumerait pas autant
Maintenant une seule fleur dans mes entourages
Me rend malade

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement oublier
Et puis je fume

Je ne suis pas fière de ça
Vie qui veut me tuer
C'est magnifique être sympathique
Mais je ne le connais jamais

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement oublier
Et puis je fume

Je ne suis pas fière de ça
Vie qui veut me tuer
C'est magnifique être sympathique
Mais je ne le connais jamais

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement oublier
Et puis je fume

I want pink martinis.

Take care and be well.

Monday, May 17, 2010

If this is 1 Malaysia, I cannot wait to get out!

Yesterday, wifey and I took her family out for a nice lunch in a nice Thai restaurant in the city. A delayed Mother's Day celebration.

My mother in law is in her 60's, she has 3 daughters of whom I am married to the oldest.

She is from India but now a Malaysian citizen. Her husband passed away more than 20 years ago while the children were still schooling.

Her husband was a Malaysian and worked as a loyal servant of the Malaysian government.

Being from India, it was difficult for her when she lost her husband. But that did not stop her from making sure her children received the best she could offer and make better lives for themselves.

She ensured that 2 of 3 daughters went on and got University education. Her other daughter is Down Syndrome, but she made sure she got some form of schooling and education. In Malaysia, it was not easy.

She did many odd jobs, she lived on the miserable few hundred ringgit from her husbands pension.

This blog is not her story, but stories she told me yesterday.

On Sunday morning, she went for her usual walk around her apartment where she lives in a suburb of the city.

As she was walking around, she used her usual paths which includes a Malay kampung area.

There was a large crowd this morning. There were people in red uniforms giving out roses to women mainly mothers for Mother's Day.

Every one was getting a flower.

And the flower came with a note, "Wishing all mothers a Happy Mother's Day, from Barisan Nasional". (Barisan Nasional (BN) is Malaysia's ruling party for those friends of mine who may not know.)

She was not given a flower. She was not given a 50 cent worth rose flower because she was an Indian.

This is the Barisan Nasional that we have.

No flowers for Indian mothers, they do not deserve it, they vote for the opposition.

She goes on to tell me another story.

She goes to this night market near her area to buy vegetables.

Mostly Malay traders sell vegetables there.

She notices that there are slight price variations from when she buys vegetables and when she compares with her Malay friends.

Mothers on a budget will always compare notes.

The same trader gives the same size broccoli to a Malay woman for RM2.50 whereas charges my mother in law RM3.30 or RM3.50.

The size and the weight is identical yet she is charged higher.

This again because she is Indian.

She approaches the trader but this bastard just brushes her off.

Another story goes back to her old hometown of Kulim, Kedah.

In the wet market, where she buys vegetables from a Malay pakcik (old Malay man).

One day, she hears the pakcik tell his teenage kids that they can and should charge the pariah Indians a higher price.

This is the education the pakcik gives his children. First, to discriminate based on race and on top of that call a name which is equivalent to calling someone a bastard.

This is 1 Malaysia, this is the 1 Malaysia I cannot wait to get out off.

I have many close Malay friends and do not want to generalise, but the friends like Datuk in Miri are getting rare by the day. It seems for Malay to be racist including Ibrahim Ali, it is okay, they are Malays, they have their rights.

If an Indian or Chinese was to do this, we will be blamed for another May 13 or inciting racial hatred.

I am not inciting any hatred towards any race.

I just want peace, love and respect for one another, respect another mother, respect the elderly.

Sigh....like a friend said Zhopa!

Take care and be well.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Time traveller

I am now a human being, whatever that may be.
I speak for us who move and think and feel and whom time consumes.
I speak as an individual unique in a universe beyond my understanding.
I speak for humankind.

I am hemmed in by limitations of sense and mind and body,
of place and time and circumstances,
some of which I know but most of which I do not.

I am like a being journeying through a forest,
aware of occasional glints of light overhead,
with recollections of the long trail I have already travelled,
and I am conscious of the wonder spaces ahead.

I want to see more clearly where I have been
and where I am going.
And above all,
I want to know why I am where I am and
why I am travelling at all.

Take care and be well.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Two year old my boy Al E is

Happy Birthday to Al E Baba, my boy.

So much of joy you bring to my life.
So much of laughter and fun.

Your jumping on me when I come home,
Your tender kisses in the morning, day and night,
Your excitement when playing coconuts, blankets or ball,
Your Rodeo bull jump out the gates when we go for walks,
Your gulping down delicious food and slobbery way your drink,
I will always cherish.

Remain as young as you are now and before, forever more.

Take care and be well.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Happy Birthday Dearest Wifey

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to Wifey
Happy Birthday to you.

I will not devulge how young you are,
Because you are only as young as you feel.

I will not forget how kind you are;
I will always remember your generosity
I look up to your compassion
And I cherish your love.

Take care and be well.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Through the mist

This was written by me on 5 March 2003, a time when I was in between being gainfully employed and trying hard to make ends meet by running a small tuition center in Rawang, selling sandwiches and trying hard to get up every morning to do something to earn some
dough. In the end, all things turned out well because I generally maintained a positive outlook in life despite how the poem may sound.

Through the mist
I see nothing,
but I hear someone calling
could it be?

The voice is familiar to me.
Through the mist,
could it be?

I can't quite place who it is
calling me through the mist.
But it is familiar.

Could it be?

Through the mist
could it be
a friend or a foe
or god or the devil?

Through the mist
a friend, a foe or a guardian angel,
God or the devil,
could it be?

But alas, it's not.
Not a friend nor foe,
not God nor the devil.

The mist clears
and all there is
through the mist
is clear fresh crisp air
and just me.

Not a friend nor foe,
not God nor the devil.

Through the mist,
there is just me,
finding my own path.

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Oh the places I will go!

When in Siem Riep, I went to see Angkor Wat and all the other Angkor temples.

When in Rome, I went to see the Vatican, the Pantheon and many other sites.

When in Egypt, I went to see the Giza Pyramids and other temples.

When in New Zealand, I went to see Milford Sound.

When in South Africa, many things I went to see, including the Kimberly Hole, Cape Point, Table Mountain and the big 5 in a safari.

When in Maldives, I went to see the wonderful undersea kingdom.

When in Miri, I went to see Gua Niah, Lambir Hills.

When in Sabah, I went to see Mount Kinabalu.

When in Sydney, I went to the beaches and Sydney and Darling Harbours.

When in New York, many things I went to see which Statue of Liberty was one of them.

When in Pisa, I went to the leaning tower.

When in Venice, I went on a gondola ride.

When in Bali, I saw everything including Tanah Lot, Bersakih and other temples.

When in Amsterdam, I went to see the museums and canals.

When in Milan, I went shopping and saw the Duomo and saw the great supper.

When in Paris, I went up the Eiffel Tower and many other things.

When in Orlando and Anaheim, I went to Disney.

I have been many places and seen many things in my life but hardly have I seen everything.

Some of the places are not cheap to go in, some have different entrance fees, some are free.

Apart from seeing places, I meet people, I sit by a cafe and watch the world pass by me.

If I was in Moscow, I'll go see the Red Square.

In Washington, the White House and the other monuments.

In Jogjakarta, the Borobudur temples.

In Beijing, the Great Wall and Forbidden Palace.

In Delhi/Agra, the Taj Mahal.

In Mumbai, the Elephanta caves.

In Rio, the statue of Jesus Christ.

In Peru, Machu Pichu and the Nascar lines.

In Morocco, Casblanca.

There are many things I will go see.

Oh the places I will go.

I will not, could not say no.

Free it may be or fee may they charge.

I may not like or it may be nice.

I will go and I will see.

Oh such wonders there are in the world.

Of what I have seen and yet to see.

My journey is still long and sweet.

These places I will go and many more which I have yet to see.

Take care and be well.

Monday, May 10, 2010

De-stress and no dis-ease

Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
And some days you're the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat them.

Always wear stuff that will make you look good
If you die in the middle of it.

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
"Recalled" by their maker.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was probably worth it.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
Because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.

Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

The second mouse gets the cheese.

When everything's coming your way,
You're in the wrong lane.

Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.

You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Take care and be well.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Make everyday just like today

Just for today, do not worry.

Just for today, do not anger.

Honour your parents, teachers and elders.

Earn your living honestly.

Show gratitude to every living thing.

Everyday, do it just for today.

Everyday, live just for today.

Everyday, is just today.

Take care and be well.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Smoke gets in your eyes

To you, and to me.
For you and for me.
For all those days, for all these days.
For now, for the past and forever.

Now laughing friends deride
Tears I can not hide
Oh, so I smile and say
When a lovely flame dies
Smoke gets in your eyes
Smoke gets in your eyes

Take care and be well.

Thursday, May 6, 2010


I have had this song in my head all morning. Must be listening to Hitz FM every morning while driving to work.

Catchy tune but a lyrics bit depressing I would think although you do not hear it.

The song is Issues by Saturdays. I was thinking it was Beyonce or Rihanna.

I Feel like I’m going out of
My mind,

Boy the way you do me is a
damn crime,

But then you smile at me
and its all right,

With you there aint nothin' in between,

Every time that I walk out the door,
Tell myself I can't take it no more,

There’s a part of me won't let you go
Keep saying yes when my minds saying no,

Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

Its so wrong, boy you leave me hangin' for so long,
You empty out my love until its all gone,
You change the words but still it's the same song,
I’m tired of the melody.

Change my number and throw out your clothes,
But my feelings for you, it still shows,
I keep building the walls round my heart,
But then I see you, and it all falls apart...

Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

Why fight it, cant hide it
Truth is I think I like it,
Confusion, illusions
Still I don’t know which way to go….

Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.

Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues,
We got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues

Me and my heart we got issues
Don’t know whether I should hate you or miss you.

Take care and be well.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Let's nuke it

Many many many years ago, in 1998, I saw this play written by Huzir Sulaiman and performed by Jo Kukathas called Atomic Jaya in Actor's Studio in BSC.

This was one of the best and funniest plays I have seen.

Jo did a one person show acting in numerous roles including politicians, businessmen etc - playing all 14 parts.

The play was basically about Malaysia making it's own atom bomb by 2020 because we are going to be a developed nation by 2020.

In one scene, General Zulkifli welcomes Dr Mary Yuen to the research laboratory of Syarikat Perniagaan Atomic Jaya Sdn. Bhd.

YUEN: Yes, I was confused about the sign. You mean this is a private company?

GENERAL: It’s not my decision. Everything they must privatise now. But it’s okay. The directors of the company include seven generals and one Prime Minister’s son. You must have Prime Minister’s son. Keep them busy. Otherwise if unemployed they will start the NGO.

In another scene, she acted as Dr Saiful from UKM.

“Oh, you are discussing philosophy. Very interesting. For example, ‘Men are from Besut, Women are from Dungun.’ I also like philosophy.”

She also acted as apanama thumb-twiddling malapropic minister.

“Why should we um apanama import the highly enriched Iranian? We already apanama buy the Persian carpet and the apanama Persian cat from the Iranian so they apanama become highly enriched at our expense.”

At that time, it was funny, it was comedy, you'd never think we would have a atom bomb or atomic power in Malaysia.

But then today, I read Mack's blog and low and behold, we are going to have atomic power.

Check out this article from The Star.

Like Mack commented on her blog, "Apanama sounds like a cool place to live. Maybe I should move there...."

I do not know if there is Apanama, but Ipanema in Brazil sounds and looks nice enough. What say you?

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

At the very core of my being

At the very core of my being is me.

As the years of my life have passed by, the layers of my being have changed.

The core may have matured, but it remains intact.

But sometimes, when layers of my being get peeled away, the core becomes exposed and vulnerable.

When the core is vulnerable, it becomes an open target.

That is when it cuts like a knife
it cuts away the heart of my life
When I pretend wear a smile to fool my dearest friends
I wonder if they know it's just a show
I'm on a stage day and night
I go through my charades
but how can I disguise what's in my eyes

Okay, I am being a little lyrical here. Some of you may not remember but the paragraph above is paraphrased and plagiarised from Rockwell's song Cut's like a knife.

But the core is who I am, it is my very being, my existence in this world, in this life that has been given to me - and when the core is exposed, many vulnerable things happen.

As such, layers are important, as important as the core because it helps to protect the core.

At the core of my Being I am in touch with the light and love and the knowingness that are inherent properties of my natural state. - Deepak Chopra

Take care and be well.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

So, now we're in the business to shoot 15 year olds in the head

A cop shoots down a 15 year old boy in the car - in the head and multiple shots because the boy allegedly tries to run them down.

Firstly, even if he did try to run them down, there is such thing as jumping aside, shooting tyres and many other viable options than shooting someone in the head irrespective how old they are.

And the reaction after that by the chief police officer is just appalling.

Quoting Malaysiakini article below:
Inspector-general of police Musa Hassan has suggested that he would pull his men off the streets amid criticisms over Monday's shooting of 14-year-old Aminulrasyid Amzah.

"If you do not want the police to enforce the law, then say so," said the police chief, when asked for his response towards criticism by opposition parties and NGOs over the matter.

"I can tell my men to not take any action, including conduct inspections on vehicles or arrest Mat Rempit who ride without licences," he told reporters after launching a blood donation drive at the National Blood Bank in conjunction with the 203rd Police Day celebrations today.

Aminulrasyid was shot dead by police in an incident in Shah Alam at 2am, when he allegedly ignored police calls for him to stop the car that he was driving.

Having kept mum on the incident thus far, Musa blew his top and said that there was no way for the officers to know that the driver was not an adult as it was dark.

"If you refuse to stop and try to drive your way through when an officer is trying to stop you, then that vehicle is considered a weapon because it poses a danger to the life of the enforcement officer," said Musa.

Come on Musa, are you really that daft.

Yet again, another farce and fiasco.

I love Malaysia but I am afraid of the government, the police and the lawless royalties.

Take care and be well.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Am I addicted to Facebook?


I do not play any Facebook games currently.

I only go to Facebook to check on some friends status and any new pictures uploaded (not all cause when you have more than 400 Facebook friends, there is so only so much you can keep up with).

I have not been on Facebook for more than an hour a day, usually just minutes to update my status, check out a few friends and logoff.

So, I begin my week of absolutely no Facebook for a week.

From 3:30pm on Sunday May 2 to 3:30pm on Sunday May 9 - I will be away from Facebook. If you need to get a hold of me, send me an email, or pick up the phone and call me.

It took me a while to remove all the email notifications sent from Facebook, but that too is done.

You may think there is willpower involved, but more likely... change is due to want power. Wanting the new me in preference to the person I am now.

Take care and be well.