About Me

I have done a lot of things in my life and have also worked in many different jobs to make a living and to experience life. This blog is just some of my musings, sometimes funny, sometimes inspirational, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, sometimes simple but all the time, it's just me.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Don't be insecure about what you feel

There are a lot of things that are real and tangible.

But over the years, we are conditioned to believe they are not real.

Either we have become too scientific and need proof of everything or we have lost touch with our true self and potential, what we were created for.

Rainbows are real (as my friend B pointed out)

Feelings are real, what you feel in your heart and gut - that's real.

There is some supreme power, call it God, Allah, whatever names you want to use.

There are aliens out there and I agree with Stephen Hawking - keep away from them.

Space is not a vacuum nor is it empty - it is filled, by stars, moons, planets, asteroids, gravity and even garbage.

While people may say friends are temporary but family is forever; do not fret if you have more feelings and are closer to your friends than family.

A mother's love knows no bounds and is not biological nor blood - it is all heart.

A picture paints a thousand words, but sometimes a thousand words that you read will soothe your soul more than a picture could.

A dog will give you unconditional love forever - because a dog loves you more then he loves himself.

The simplest food made with love, heart will taste the best.

Sunsets and sunrises are wonderful, but twilight and dawn ....

You and I, we have a soul.

Laughter heals a lot.

Love heals a lot too.

There will always be someone out there judging you ... don't let them get you down.

Bad things will pass.

Good things will happen.

Like Walt Disney said, the way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.

And like Marge said, you should listen to your heart and not those voices in your head.

And finally, one day, I will win the lottery :)

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I am space

When you look out at the sky,

And when you wish upon the stars,

And gaze at the moon,

And when the sun blinds your vision,

And you're amazed by the planets,

that are rotating around this ball of fire,

And many other planets rotating around other suns,

And the stars many billion light years away,

Look beyond and look between all these,

And when you see the darkness or the gaps in between,

The thing we call space,

That is me.

I am not a vacumn,

I am not empty,

I am full,

I am three dimensional,

The stars, and the planets and the suns,

All exist within me,

And objects and events occur within me,

I have direction, I create direction, I give direction,

I am boundless,

I have a heart,

I have a soul,

I am what holds it all together,

I am space.

Take care and be well.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I feel love

Yesterday after I was driving back from 1U after my hair cut and colour, one of the radio stations was playing this song and it's now stuck in my head (Just like Depeche Mode Shout was 2 weeks ago).

I personally overall prefer the original Donna Summer version especially the vocals but the Blue Men Group music is a killer, not the vocals by Katherine Jenkins.

Two thumbs up for Donna and one thumb up for Blue Men.

What say you? You feel love yet?

Donna Summer (1977)

Blue Man Group featuring Katherine Jenkins (2005)

Take care and be well.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Someday we'll find it...

A friend shared with me about a wonderful day at a park when there was a light drizzle and a rainbow formed, the turtles swam by, the ducks came too, an eagle swooped in ... thankfully no sunsilk toads were nearby.

Yet there was some sadness, some emptiness inside, yet a sense that she was one with the Universe.

There was also a sad dog tied to a pole. Does he belong there, does he belong anywhere?

Another friend wrote to me, "I saw a rainbow in the sky this morning. It reminded me of God's promises to His children. It left me feeling peaceful and in awe of the greatness and wonders of our God. I pray you will also see the same and experience God's love & peace in your heart."

I got up one morning, opened the curtains and saw the calmness of the South China Sea outside my balcony. This was while I was still in Miri.

A rainbow had formed across the sea. The another rainbow formed.

Dual rainbows are rarely seen.

And yet that morning, dual rainbows formed over the calm seas and I could see a lone fisherman out in the sea in his dinghy earning his living.

There is something amazing about rainbows.

Rainbows are not real, they are just an illusion, an optical trick and reflection.

Yet, they are amazing.

The World is amazing. The whole Universe is amazing.

Sometimes we just do not see the rainbows in all the sham and drudgery.

Sometimes our eyes are closed, sometimes our hearts are closed.

But once we allow our eyes and our heart to see, then we'll truly see.

We'll truly see that rainbows are real, that the world is full of rainbows.

You'll see rainbows in the slums of Mumbai or in the hills of Beverly, from the ivory towers of New York to the Red Square of Moscow, in St Isaac cathedral in St Petersburg or in the Limestone Caves in Kuala Lumpur, in Central Park, Hyde Park, KLPac Park.

You'll see rainbows in your heart and in my heart .... and that will be the rainbow connection.

This morning I got up thinking of rainbows and rainbow connection and remembered that Mack had this song (The Rainbow Connection) by Kermit on her blog, check it out here.

Enjoy and remember, you and I, we are the rainbow connection.

Take care and be well.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Taxmen Commeth

Yes, it's time of the year again.

The government has taken, every month, but you still have to file taxes.

And while I file every year stating that every year I have overpaid by 2-3k, I have yet to see a refund ever.

On top of these, I have been summoned to pay a profit of property sale for a property sold in 2005. How much tax on the profit? Oh just a mere 33% on the profit.

Malaysia is a business friendly tax structure.

As individual, the top bracket for tax is at 28% whereas for companies it is 27%.

Companies on top of that can write off or deduct expenses like rental of premises, company cars and expenses to maintain, any expenses to run the business, entertainment etc etc etc.

So, as individuals, we pay a lot of tax.

But such is life. I hate this time of year. When I have to look for bills, look for what can be deducted.

Such is life, every April, the taxmen commeth.

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Living in a nice neighbourhood with pariah neighbour

When I was in Miri the last two and a half years or so, we always had relatively very nice neighbours.

The neighbourhood was also nice considering there were only a few houses and a beach in front of the house.

In Kuala Lumpur, I live in the old neighbourhood of Bangsar, a suburb of KL which sits very near to the city center but in the north east side of KL.

This neighbourhood started some 30 years back from an old rubber estate.

Those days, the houses ranged from RM20k to RM40k and the teachers, lawyers, clerks, etc. that bought houses in these area were considered "idiots" to buy a house in such an area.

Some of these people are still living in these houses that they bought for RM20k. Only thing is, now the houses are worth above RM1 million.

The property values in Bangsar have gone up and up and up. I bought this house about 4 years ago and the property is worth 40% more than when I bought it.

During the great financial crisis, the property values everywhere dropped but in Bangsar it went up, although at a lower pace.

20 years ago when I rented a room in Bangsar while working as a beat journalist, the house prices were around RM250k. And 10 years ago around RM500k.

When I first bought a place here, I immediately fell in love with the house because of the garden. The house was a little run down and wifey had to do all the design work and renovation work to make it look like it is now.

I also knew that the neighbourhood was nice but never appreciated it because I kept hearing about snatch thefts and car jacking.

I also knew I had a bad neighbour, a pariah neighbour - why, why, why did I have to end up with pariahs next to me.

Recently with my walks with Al E, I have began to appreciate the neighbourhood more.

People actually say "Good morning" or "Good evening" when the walk by.

There are a lot of dog walkers, dog lovers in this neighbourhood.

There are a lot of dogs in this neighbourhood.

There is still some snatch thefts, and some car jacking but this is a wonderful neighbourhood.

Again, why, why, why could I not have neighbours like Param and Piara, Bernd and Dorit, Dr B, Mack and Deb, Datuk and family, JJ and family, all other friends living all nearby. (Well JJ is living nearby). But why do I end up with pariah neighbours.

I think I should convince my friend to invest in some land nearby but far enough in the hills, or jungles, or somewhere near the beach but not developed yet.

Build simple chalets and houses as weekend homes. Have barbeque's and bonfire chats and listen to the jungle and listen to all our weird eclectic music, have some tangechi's (the drink and not little sister's).

But in the mean time, we will just have make time for one another where we are, we take care of each other, we care for one another, we have fun, we listen, we celebrate, we comfort one another.

Take care and be well.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

The true measure of a man ....

The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges (Martin Luther King Jr)

Last week has definitely been a week where all my comforts and convenience has been challenged.

Many already know from my previous blog that my wallet got pick pocketed.

Apart from having lost money and belongings, it came at a time when there are many things happening.

Just a week earlier, my 196 items/boxes of stuff arrived from Miri.

This has left my humble abode in a bit of a mess with boxes all around and it will take time to clear, sell or donate the stuff.

Then there was the cramming for exam, which happens to be in the time where I am still settling back into the hustle and bustle life of KL.

Then the income tax men are coming after me for some property gains tax that I have to pay - close to 20k including some fines. At least this I have my "new" lawyer taking care of it which should have been under the "old" lawyer who has left the firm.

To top all these wonderful things, I got pick pocketed.

The hassle of cancelling cards, making new cards etc etc etc.

I surprisingly managed to make my Malaysian ID card and driver's licence relatively fast in Maju Junction.

But was fined RM110 for MYID and RM30 for drivers licence with no avenue for appealing. You get fined even if your stuff gets stolen. Even if you are poor. Even if you may be bleeding or raped (thankfully none which happened to me).

In my rush of getting out of the stress of things, I left Maju JUnction crammed car park and conveniently reversed into a pillar which was in my blind spot.

Luckily I was driving my Landrover 4WD and only sustained a few bruises from whiplash.

But my car likely sustained damages about 3k worth - yet to go evaluate the damage at a workshop.

I guess if all bad things happen at once, then only good things will happen for the rest of the year. I pray and hope for that.

Anyways, despite all the negative things, i would like to add to what the quote says.

The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges.

For me it has been always about how he stands at times of controversy and challenges and who stands with him.

My family - wifey, Al E and pops and my friends - Mack, Datuk, Uding, Dr B, Bernd and others - thanks for standing with me in my times of challenge and thanks for your kind words, understanding, hugs and at times silence (which I sometimes needed).

Take care and be well.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Don't go through life pushing doors that are marked "pull"!

Last night, I went out with a close friend.

B or Bal as I call him at times started off as one of these doctors I visited while he was a panel doctor under wifey's employing bank at that time.

I was sick and in between jobs (a western term for jobless, "takde kerja", "menganggur") at that time.

(A little diversion for my readers: My Malay is so bad that at one time I thought menganggur was collecting or something to do with grapes. You see, anggur is grapes in Malay. And in Malay language, you verbalise a noun by adding "me", or "meng" etc at the beginning i.e. "letak" is put and "meletak" is to put.)

Anyways, so I was between jobs and therefore was not medically covered and thankfully wifey's bank covered spouses.

Over time, he left the panel and started on his own.

Over time, he became what I would term as one of the best doctors I visit, a family doctor, someone who knows my ailments well.

Over time, he became a friend.

Over time, he became a good friend, someone you could easily talk to, confide in, seek advice.

Now, I personally have very few good friends. I know a lot of people, but I have very few people I can count on anytime.

Apart from family especially wifey, I can count in one hand the number of people I can truly consider good friends.

And many friends come and go, many good friends come and go, even the friends you know for 30 years can drift apart.

I am not going to embarrass my friends by naming them in my blog, but they truly know who they are.

So, I was out with B, and we were pretty much talking everything under the sun but some interesting topics about the ego, chakra cleansing, dog whisperer, past lives (all which I will blog about some other time), jellyfish, drunks, kids, dogs, work, and all the life challenges we face that makes life interesting.

And he mentioned this quote from a drunk he knows who comes up with the simplest most wonderful things when he is sober like ....

"Don't go through life pushing doors that are marked pull".

Simple advise.

Take care and be well.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

What do you want? What do you need?

Advertisement is "the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."

But what is a need? And what is a want?

And whenever I ask this question, what we really need in our lives, people don't really go beyond physiological needs and security needs.

Yes, yes, I am bringing up Maslow's hierarchy of needs, after all I studied psychology.

Now let's take a look at it again shall we..

I generally agree with the needs above but I do not think there should be a hierarchy.

Do we need a mobile phone, do we need a fancy mobile phone, do we need a big television, and do we need a nice house .... many people may question whether these are needs or wants or desires.

We desire because we want to fulfil some need. We desire mainly because it is an esteem need.

And like I said, I do not believe in the hierarchy.

I think our needs and when we fulfil our needs and what we achieve can come at anytime.

For example, I am confident and respected by others most of the time but I sometimes do not have security of employments or health.

I am not rich nor am I poor. Would I like to be rich? Of course, who wouldn’t?

Am I proud or humble? I think a person can be both proud and humble, my friends and family know me well enough.

I really think that people should be less judgemental of others.

There is just so much prejudice in the world. I have my own prejudices too.

And it is sort of a catch 22, by just saying people should be less judgemental, I have just judged people.

I guess we are created as such, it is in our souls, in our genes, in our DNA.

I do not know.

But everyone seems so bloody judgemental nowadays, whether judging one person a yuppie or judging another a weirdo, or judging one a spoilt little brat or judging another a boy.

We have all become bloody judges and we complain about justice. Here I thought justice was blind but it seems to have 12 billion eyes.

Ok, so this musing is a little of a rambling, but I hope you get my drift, I hope I get my drift, it's not a smelly one, trust me ... or don't ....

What I need right now is a nice cold beer and to strike the lottery!

Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them (Mark 11:24).

Datuk, cepat sikit, kasi fast track itu vision ;)

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Garfield is not alone

I had a great weekend, one of the best ones in a long time.

A great Friday evening(see previous blog).

A relatively quiet but nice Saturday. An evening spent with wifey at the malls and capped off by a late midnight movie of watching Avatar in 3D with friends.

I thought I may go to sleep as I was tired and this was the second time watching the movie but I was awake throughout.

Then on Sunday, Angie/Mack cooked Sarawak Laksa - so had a wonderful afternoon at her place (can see all the Facebook comments).

Capped off with a wonderful evening at mom's.

Then comes Monday.

It started off well enough. I worked from home which I find to be more productive. I had a few late calls and it was easier then going all the way to Cyberjaya and working there until late at night.

However, when I decide to go for dinner a t a nearby Chinese coffee shop/kopitiams, I loose my wallet.

It likely dropped somewhere and I did not realise it until of course someone had ran off with it.

Thankfully I was not injured, nor was anything used fraudulently when I called to cancel all my cards.

But there were items in there that were irreplaceable and some items that are just a big hassle to replace.

What did I loose:
1. An Aigner wallet - a gift and costing close to RM800.
2. MYID - Malaysian Identification - with clean shave, long haired look.
3. Driver's Licence - with my skinny bearded face like inmate released from prison.
4. 2 HSBC Credit Cards (both MasterCard and Visa)
5. 2 ATM cards (Maybank and HSBC)
6. RM400
7. Crystal - black Onyx
8. Some blessed items from temple
9. PMI Membership Card
10. 7 Habits Card
11. 2 pictures of Sarah - from those days when we were "oh so young and a lil naive."

But most of all ...

I lost my dignity for a while,
I lost my sanity for a while,
I lost my independence for a while,
I lost my cool for a while,
I lost my confidence for a while,

But I had you all,
my wifey, my family, my friends ...
to bring it back to me.

Take care and be well.

Saturday, April 10, 2010


Friday night, Wifey, me, good friend Mack and her tangechi Deb, new friends - KGB and FBI (one takes the photos as evidence and the other asks all the questions ;P)

After dinner in Chinese kopitiam in Bangsar decide to go ....Hartamas, to a Pub and Restaurant called Cavell's,

Bartender Jackie, 6 cocktails each by Mack and me, 5 Tangechi's by KGB, pub record of 3.5 broken.

A band called Union, Lead singer with "I wish I could CTL ALT DEL you" t-shirt, Superman Guitarist.

Playing 80's songs amongst which is Tears for Fears "Shout".

Late supper of roti canai at Pelita's.

.... This is the good life.

Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on
Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on

In violent times, you shouldn't have to sell your soul
In black and white, they really really ought to know
Those one track minds that took you for a working boy
Kiss them goodbye, you shouldn't have to jump for joy
You shouldn't have to
Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on

They gave you life, and in return you gave them hell
As cold as ice, I hope we live to tell the tale
I hope we live to tell the tale

let it all out, these are the things I can do without
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on
Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on

Shout, shout, let it all out
These are the things I can do without
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on

And when you've taken down your guard
If I could change your mind, I'd really love to break your heart
I'd really love to break your heart

Shout, shout, let it all out
(Break your heart) these are the things I can do without
(I'd really love to break your heart) come on
I'm talking to you, come on
Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without
Come on, I'm talking to you so come on

(Guitar solo)

Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on
(They really really ought to know) Shout, shout, let it all out
(Really really ought to know) These are the things I can do without
(They really really) Come on, I'm talking to you, come on
(They really really ought to know) Shout, shout, let it all out
(I'd really love to break your heart)
These are the things I can do without
(I'd really love to break your heart)
Come on, I'm talking to you so come on
Shout, shout, let it all out, these are the things I can do without
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on...(fade)

Take care and be well.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Happy or not

If I were to ask you, "Are you happy?"

And the choice of answer was just "Yes" or "No", what would be your immediate current answer?

Most people would think too much into it. They will ask questions like what do you mean happy. Or they will justify their answers by saying No but I would be if ....

If is something that is not concrete.

If is future state.

To be happy in the current state, in the NOW ... not the past nor the future.

The world is somehow a place full of unhappy people, including me many times.

But when I am happy, I know it. I am not bouncing off the walls happy, but I am happy.

This year, I had a "happy" birthday. No if's and no but's.

Yes, if dig deeper, there is stress. I was recovering from sickness, I am stressed about my exam next week, I am a little stressed about work. But there is always going to be stress in life.

Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.

Many people will say I am not unhappy - a double negative, rather than say I am happy.

Many people still remain unhappy in this world.

Unfortunately, some people feel that they would only be happy if they have the monetary means to be happy. But sometimes, you see pure happiness and smiles in the poorest people in the world.

Oh why the heck am I babbling about this?

People including myself will always find many reasons and excuses to be happy or unhappy.

It is an unfortunate state of mind to be unhappy.

I strive to be happy. I need the courage to be happy always.

Of course money will help too! (hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha)

But seriously, only person than can help me be happy is myself. Same goes to anyone.

Only you can decide whether you want to be happy or not.

Despite all the external factors, the final decision lies in your heart.

So, let's choose to be happy, we all will be better off and the world will be a better place for that.

Take care and be well.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

14 things to do when I am 41

So, some people write New Year's resolution.

I write Birthday wishes, after all, it is sort of a new year for me.

So, here are 14 things I would like to do while I am 41.

Not sure if I will have 24 things to do when I am 42, but let's start with the 14 first.

1. Travel overseas for holiday (I was overseas for work last year and did take a vacation thereafter but need to get away this year as well).

2. Study Reiki (originally scheduled to go 3 years ago but could not and Sarah went in place ... and the master has never returned since).

3. Re-start Pilates (not practised in 2.5 years).

4. Write a poem (have not done that in ages).

5. Make someone laugh (at least one person a week. I think this I have in the bag).

6. Make a new friend (hmmm, as I get older, it becomes more difficult to make new friends but we shall nevertheless).

7. Really re-connect and stay connected with the few close friends from present and past (DocB, Mack, Mr Steven aka Sathiya, Don, Datuk .... just to name a few).

8. Maintain contacts with all the close friends that are overseas (Sini, Martina, Darrel, Angeline, Hoon Wee, KK, Bernd, Dorit ....again just to name a few).

9. I'm 41, I think I really need to really start saving some thing for a rainy day (but every time I do, the bloody gomen esp the taxmen take it away .... hrummmphhh).

10. Learn how to tango (but it takes two to tango ... so, wifey, you up for it?)

11. Cook a 8 course meal for family and some close friends (hmmmm....)

12. Go to Penang - mainly just to eat and catch up with some old school buddies(again have not done this for nearly 3-4 years)

13. Bake a cake for Al E (not easy to bake for a pet considering sugar and chocolate is poison for them ... but bake I shall)

14. Have a blast of a year (not the explosive dynamite C4 Altantuya type of blast. But I will keep smilin', keep shinin', knowin' you can always count on me, for sure, that's what friends are for, for good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more)

I will be counting on you all too.

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

In my life

There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

I have always liked the Beatles and their songs and sometimes feel I was born 10 years later than I should have.

But then again, there is always a good reason for everything that happens in life.

The lyrics above cannot entirely explain how I feel now at age 41, but it comes close.

Wifey gave me some presents and a book with Maya Angelou quote, "Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can't practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage."

I will not say that I have been the most courageous person always in my life, but I have been courageous enough and as I get older, I feel I should be more courageous.

I have made a lot of mistakes in life and no doubt that some mistakes will continue to be made but at least I will have the courage to try something and continue to gain experience.

After all, Oscar Wilde said that experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.

To all my friends and family members who have send me wonderful wishes, blessings, gifts, virtual gifts, etc. for my birthday, thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Take care and be well.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Easter already, I need bi-focals

I have not been blogging as much since coming back to KL.

Many reasons for that and many excuses as well. But basically, things have been overwhelming - work, settling at home, clearing 200 boxes, vertigo attack again, issues here and there, Internet not available at home for quite sometime and the monopoly of Telekom Malaysia making us beg for their services, studying for PMP exam and etc etc.

One quarter in 2010 has already passed. Easter is already here. On the northern hemisphere, spring is in the air and in the south, autumn leaves are falling.

Happy Easter to all that celebrate. This is the day that Jesus resurrected and maybe it is time for me to get a move on as well.

Three months have passed by like cruise control, 2 months in Miri and 1 month in KL so far.

But all 3 months have been sort of auto-pilot cruise control.

Now as I approach the 42nd year of my life and in a couple of days 41 years would have passed by, I feel I need to get back on the driver's seat and take the auto-pilot off and the cruise control off and take control of 2010.

A lot of things need to be accomplished and they should be, one at a time - men are generally not good at multi-tasking - so one at a time will suit me just fine for now.

I need to file for my taxes by end of April, I need to get bi-focals (yes, I have reached that age where reading has become difficult), I need to help wifey clear the boxes at home as well as at her mom's house, I need to get in touch with my spiritual soul, I need to start exercising, I need to start re-connecting with people, I need to start re-connecting with home, family etc.

Finally the Internet is up and I can start blogging again.

Wishing everyone again a Happy Easter and I am off to the optician to get bi-focals.

Take care and be well.