About Me

I have done a lot of things in my life and have also worked in many different jobs to make a living and to experience life. This blog is just some of my musings, sometimes funny, sometimes inspirational, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, sometimes simple but all the time, it's just me.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Last day in office

So, yesterday was my last day in the office where I have been based for the past two and a half years.

No long speeches, no teary eyes, no scenes, no farewell emails - just a goodbye.

I am not a very attached sort of person, so I have never really been too attached to a place.

It was wonderfrul for some colleagues to take me out for lunch as well as dinner for farewell, it is always appreciated and I am grateful.

This morning, wifey will come over for the last few days and the final goodbye to Miri.

Tonight, another dinner with a friend, too bad her hubby is not around. I will miss him, he has been a good boss and a friend.

This will likely be my last blog in Miri as I am unsure if I will have any time or access to the Internet after today.

Next time, it will be my musings from KL.

Until then, au revoir ....
.... all the people I have met who have become good friends, great friends.
.... all the tuak I have drank, all the fun I have had, all the laughs.
.... all the sunsets I have enjoyed while sitting on my dining table and looking out at the sea.

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Coco's gratitude

Pictures paint a thousand words.

Take care and be well.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Bugs don't bug me but cockroaches do!

I was just chatting with a friend on how cockroaches really really really bug me.

It seems I am not the only one that they bug.

Other bugs do not really bug me. I am not bothered by lizards, flies, rats, mosquitoes, ants, swiftlets, all the other nameless bugs that come to my place to visit.

I do not like them, but I am not bothered by them.

But somehow, cockroaches, they really get to my nerves.

My cockroach repellent is wifey and her slippers, she just whacks them.

My friend even told me that there are days in Miri where she has a insect spray next to her even when she watches television and she is trigger happy with these critters.

I for one can get quite trigger happy but thankfully there are not that many around.

The worst kind of cockroaches are those that fly. I really really hate it when they fly. When they fly, my repellent (wifey and her slippers) do not work that well.

My mom used to tell me that the cockroach is near death when it starts to fly - I do not know where she would have got this scientific information but could be worth some research.

Once when I was in primary school, a cockroach had hidden in my school shorts and I put it on. I thought it was some wood or something until I pulled it out and screamed.

I am a little cockroach phobic since then.

In those reality shows where they eat bugs, cockroaches to me are the most disgusting of them all.

Cockroaches are among the hardiest insects on the planet.

Some species are capable of remaining active for a month without food and are able to survive on limited resources like the glue from the back of postage stamps.

Some can go without air for 45 minutes.

Seriously, these bug really bugs me.

Take care and be well.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Coco, my friend

Last month, when we would take Al E for a walk, among the places we would visit with Al E would be to Coco who was a lab mix female puppy that is growing up.

Coco lives a few doors down from where we live and is always kept in the open garden area without being taken for walks.

As such, our visits to her were pretty much the only friends she had.

Since Al E has moved to KL, I have never gone for a walk or visited Coco.

However, for one reason or another, I felt like she was calling out to me today and I needed to go visit her.

So off I went in the morning to visit Coco. What I saw literally left me in tears.

Coco came running to me and licking me all over as usual. What was different was that the garden was a mess, there was no water anywhere, the owners were away on CNY leave, there were some plastic bags of dry dog food which was just thrown on the ground but not opened and clearly not eaten.

Coco seemed and looked extremely hungry.

I was so shocked and emotionally overcome that I immediately went to a store to buy some canned dog food and some container to give her some water.

After going over to a friends place to borrow a hammer and have a light breakfast, I went back to visit Coco with some of the food I had bought for her.

Unfortunately, she was nowhere in sight. I could not see her. I even went at the back to see if she was there but could not see her.

I had no idea where she would have disappeared because there is nowhere she could have escaped to.

Somehow, around 5:45pm, I felt like I needed to go check on Coco again and again she was nowhere in sight.

Then as I was walking back home disappointed, suddenly I heard a sound and looked back and lo and behold, she was there.

I immediately went to her, gave her the can of dog food I bought for her which she finished off in mere seconds and gave her some water to drink.

She was licking me all over my hands and would have jumped over me and licked all over my face if I was on the same side of the fence.

While petting her, I spoke to her about how Al E had moved to KL, how he was doing well and meeting a lot of new friends and how the three of us (Al E, wifey and I) would always keep her in our prayers so that she will always do well.

This time as I was walking back to get her more water, I had tears of joy streaming down my face.

As I went back to her for another round of water, there came the owner and 2 sons. The owner thanked me for feeding the dog and in my mind I was thinking how cruel they were.

Coco is really quite a gorgeous dog with beautiful eyes that has been stuck in a house like this.

I have other friends who also leave their dogs in their house while they go away for weeks.

I guess that has been the faith/karma of these poor dogs.

This dogs are not street dogs and cannot survive on the street like other street dogs and being home dogs, they are unfortunately not well taken care off.

My sadness and anger this morning turned to something happy in the evening.

Coco genuinely looked so grateful and the licks and the way she said thank you was enough for me.

The time is always right to do what is right said Martin Luther King Jr.

Coco, my friend, you will always remain in our prayers.

Take care and be well.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Red eyes

What are you waiting for,
the day is gone?
I said I'm waiting for dawn

What are you aiming for
out here alone?
I said I'm aiming for home

Holding on, holding on

With red eyes
What are you looking for?
With red eyes
red eyes

All of my days are spent
within this skin
within this cage that I'm in

Nowhere feels safe to me
Nowhere feels home
Even in crowds I'm alone

Holding on, holding on

Every now and then I see you dreaming
Every now and then I see you cry
Every now and then I see you reaching,
Reaching for the other side
What are you waiting for?

My eyes are red, tired, and burning.

I have not slept well.

I am not eating well.

I am just plain tired.

I cannot wait till all this packing is done.

I cannot wait till this move is complete.

Stressed, tensed, melancholy, exhausted.

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Redemption Song

I listened to maybe 10 different versions of this song. From Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Pearl Jam, Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Pink, Annie Lenox, Bono, Wyclef Jean, Jeremy Browne ... you name it.

But nothing beats Bob Marley, he original, the legend.

Take me back to when I had dreadlocks and would have embraced rastaferian culture and religion. Hmmm, my hair is long and what's wrong with a religion that talks about peace and anti racism. Need to emancipate myself from mental slavery.

Imagine filling out all those Malaysian government forms (in fact even some employment forms for many private companies).

Name: Nil Timbadia
Sex: Hope for more
Race: Human
Religion: Rastaferian
Address: In your heart

Old pirates, yes, they rob I;
Sold I to the merchant ships,
Minutes after they took I
From the bottomless pit.
But my hand was made strong
By the 'and of the Almighty.
We forward in this generation
Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them can stop the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look? Ooh!
Some say it's just a part of it:
We've got to fulfil de book.

Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our mind.
Wo! Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them-a can-a stop-a the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look?
Yes, some say it's just a part of it:
We've got to fulfil de book.
Won't you help to sing
Dese songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever had:
Redemption songs -
All I ever had:
Redemption songs:
These songs of freedom,
Songs of freedom.

Take care and be well.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Répondez s'il vous plaît


Répondez s'il vous plaît.

Respond, if it pleases you.

I wonder when the meaning changed to "Respond or else ..."

Many people put RSVP in their invitations to mean exactly that, that they expect a response.

Some people have also told me that they get very pissed off if people do not respond to RSVP's.

But at the end of the day, RSVP means respond if it pleases you ... and only if it pleases you, you are not forced to reply.

I guess over the years meanings of words change.

Generally, it is a matter of courtesy to reply to someone who sends you an invite, irrespective of whether there is a RSVP or not.

Commentez s'il vous plait.

Take care and be well.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

A Kafka Metamorphosis

The home in Sarawak is now going through a Kafkaesque metamorphosis.

Slowly, he home that wifey built here is dissolving and being transformed into the dated beast that it was before.

In the sad story that Kafka wrote, Gregor Samsa awakes one morning to find himself inexplicably transformed from a human into a monstrous vermin.

His appearance horrifies his family and supervisor; his supervisor flees while his family chases him back into his room. Grete attempts to care for her brother by providing him with milk and the stale, rotten food he now prefers.

Gregor remains a devoted and loving son, and takes to hiding beneath a sofa whenever someone enters his room in order to shield them from his vermin form.

No longer able to rely on Gregor's income, the other family members take on jobs and Grete's caretaking deteriorates.

One day, when Gregor emerges from his room, his father chases him around the dining room table and pelts him with apples. One of the apples becomes embedded in his back, causing an infection.

Due to his infection and his hunger, he is soon barely able to move at all.

Gregor retreats to his room and collapses, finally succumbing to his wound.

The point of view shifts as, upon discovery of his corpse, the family feels an enormous burden has been lifted from them, and start planning for the future again.

In the home here, we rented this home while I worked here.

The home came with dated furniture, rather old and unmaintained.

Slowly, wifey transformed it into a beautiful home with proper furniture, proper beds etc.

Even the room below was transformed into a nice guest room.

But now, with my move back to KL, it is slowly being metamorphosed back to its old look.

The metamorphosis has just begun. Al E's crate has been taken apart, the divider as well.

The potted plants have been thrown on the lawn and the pots emptied out except for the luck plant.

On Thursday, the loyal bookshelf was taken away and now the books lie on the floor where the crate was.

This morning the faithful and well used study table and 4 old dining chairs were removed and sent to a friend's house.

Soon, the movers will come and transform this place entirely.

What will remain of this house is the charm it had originally, the charm which it may lose eventually but something which remains for now.

The view of the beach, the sound of the waves, the sea breeze, the wonderful sunsets - all the main reasons for renting this place in the first place.

A home is always what you make of it. And wifey is really good at making a house into a home. I do no know if it is a women thing, but I know it is a wifey thing for sure.

As such, I can wait to be back in our KL home with wifey and belowed Al E.

Time will fly, I know for sure.
Cherish we must what we have.
The view, the waves, the breeze,
will always remain in memories.
Move I must with the sand of times.
Be home, finally home sweet home.

Take care and be well.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Kong Hee Fatt Choy

Wishing everyone of my friends a happy and prosperous Chinese New Year.

Today, many families will be having a reunion dinner to start celebrating CNY and pretty much be a family.

The fireworks started last night but I am sure there will be much more tonight, lighting up the skies.

It is the year of the Tiger. While I am a Rooster myself, I do relate with the tiger - after all I have a Tiger tatoo.

Spring Festival is the most important of the traditional Chinese celebrations. It is sometimes called the Lunar New Year.

Around the world, regional customs and traditions vary widely.

Most families however buy presents, decorate and prepare special foods.

It is also a tradition that every family thoroughly cleans their house to sweep away any ill-fortune and to make way for incoming good luck.

Windows and doors will be decorated with red, color paper-cuts and couplets with popular themes of “happiness”, “wealth”, and “longevity”.

On the Eve of Chinese New Year, families share a feast including pig, duck, chicken and sweet delicacies and end the night with firecrackers.

Early the next morning, children will greet their parents by wishing them a healthy and happy new year, and they are given money in red paper envelopes in return.

Normally, wifey and I being truly Malaysians would also take a part in some of the traditions of CNY.

We would generally have a "reunion dinner" when we are around and we would generally eat a lot of Yee Sang, a traditional South East Asian dish made of many mixed things and tossed up together as a family to bring in good luck.

This year, as last year, seems like no Yee Sang for me.

Last year I was away in Netherlands during this period. This year, I am in Sarawak while my family is in KL.

So, just a virtual dinner, a virtual Yee Sang tossing and hugs and kisses to wifey and my boy in KL.

The house here is starting to metamorphosize but that is a story for another blog entry.

Kong Si Kong Si Kong Si Ni.

Take care and be well.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


I actually like this song. Never heard of the group nor the song before, but I like it.

Take care and be well.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Restless trepiditious spirit searching for some serenity

No ghostly or spiritual presence.

No sounds of the waves hitting the shores of Luak Bay.

No wind blowing through the gaps below the door.

The night air is still and quiet.

Only the noise of the fan blades rotating endlessly on this hot and humid night.

Every now and then a vehicle passes by on Jalan Bakam - the only noise disturbing the still silent night outside.

It is 4:00am.

Why am I awake? Did I ever sleep? Am I sleep walking, sleep writing this blog?

In the vagueness of my memory, I recall that I was also awakened by my trepidation for the last few days, maybe even weeks.

Some days at 2am, some days at 4am, some days at 5am ... but awakened nevertheless.

Every now and then my vehicle passes by on the road to trepidation.

As it has been the past few days or weeks.

There is the apprehension and anxiety of the move ... but the trepidatious feeling goes beyond the move.

If it was just the move, it would be rather tolerable to manage.

The anxiety and the apprehension will still be there, but it would be concentrated on the move.

Currently, the trepidatious feeling goes beyond.

It culminates from the things I know, things that I am aware of, things I can control but also includes things that is still beyond my awareness and beyond my control.

So, I meditate, calm down my palpitations heart and pray.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

I have to learn to accept things I cannot change. No matter how difficult it can be.

I generally am quite courageous and do try to change things that I can. I have the confidence.

I have the wisdom to deal with my trepidation. After all, wisdom is experience plus knowledge plus action - all of which I have to deal with the change.

But serenity is what I have to find.

As I sit here and slowly close my eyes
I take another deep breath
And feel the wind pass through my body
I'm the one in my own soul
Reflecting my own inner light
Protect the things that hold me in
Cradling my own inner child
I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by
Where do we go when we just don't know?
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing?
And when will we learn to control
Tragic visions slowly stole my life
Tore away everything
Cheating me out of my time
I'm the one who loves
No matter wrong or right
And every day I hold
I hold me with my inner child
(modified from Serenity, a song by Godsmack)

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Take care and be well.

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Great Patriotic War in sand

This video shows the winner of " Ukraine’s Got Talent", Kseniya Simonova, 24, drawing a series of pictures on an illuminated sand table showing how ordinary people were affected by the German invasion during World War II. Her talent, which admittedly is a strange one, is mesmeric to watch.

The images, projected onto a large screen, moved many in the audience to tears and she won the top prize of about £75,000.

The Great Patriotic War, as it is called in Ukraine , resulted in one in four of the population being killed with eight to 11 million deaths out of a population of 42 million.

Kseniya Simonova says: "I find it difficult enough to create art using paper and pencils or paintbrushes, but using sand and fingers is beyond me. The art, especially when the war is used as the subject matter, even brings some audience members to tears. And there’s surely no bigger compliment."

Take care and be well.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

‘Til we meet you again, may God bless you.

Not much to blog about this weekend cause I have refused t listen to or read news.

Watched a few movies.

Cleared up some garden planters and pots to be shipped back to KL.

Did tonnes of laundry.

Spoke to wifey, as I do everyday or a few times a day sometimes.

Broke a glass accidentally and had to clear the bloody mess.
Took apart Al E's crate and the divider. While doing that was just thinking of all the adventures of Al E in Miri since we got him and now hearing about his adventures in Bangsar.

And with the look in the picture below, it was most appropriate to use a quote from Elvis. ‘Til we meet you again, may God bless you.

Take care and be well.

Friday, February 5, 2010


This was forwarded to me by a friend at work. So, I copy kow kow.

1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Take care and be well.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I am just an Indian beggar

PM Najib Razak’s special officer Datuk Nasir Safar will tender his resignation after saying “Indians came to Malaysia as beggars and Chinese especially the women came to sell their bodies” at a 1 Malaysia seminar in Malacca.

Since I am just a beggar, all donations are welcome.

According to Nasir, "Indians in Malaysia have crossed the line. Don't force the government. We can anytime revoke the citizenship of the Indians in Malaysia."

Wow, I did not know this could be done especially since I was born in Malaysia and have always been a Malaysian citizen.

Kudos to my brother who gave it up and became an American.

So this is a senior aide or advisor of the Prime Minister, and he is a bloody racist and he what he said is obviously what he feels ... his mistake was saying it out loud.

I guess no difference from all the UMNO or ex-UMNO Malays ... they may not say it out loud, but this is what they trully feel.

After all, I guess it is no different from me as well. We are all a bunch of bloody racist at times.

Since Indians are beggars and Chinese are all prostitutes or son's of prostitutes according to our senior advisor, what are Malays?

I after all am just a stupid Indian beggar who has crossed the line.

All you great men of power,
You who boast of your feats,
Politicians and entrepreneurs:
Can you safeguard your breath in the night while you sleep,
Keep your heart beating steady and sure?
As you lie in your bed,
Does the thought haunt your head,
That your really rather small?
If there's one thing I know in this life,
We are beggars all!
(Beggars by Thrice)

Satu Malaysia, jadi pegangan .......... deeeeeeep BREATHE ......... loud SIGH! ptui.

Take care and be well.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Eternal, perpetual, immortal

I thought coming back to Miri in the early morning flight after leaving Al E and wifey would have been like any other trip ... but I was wrong.

Apart from the delay in the flight, it was rather uneventful and the meal was rather bland. I was missing Al E and wifey but I was managing it quite well.

Due to the delay, I decided I would head back home, freshen up and work from home due to my evening calls today.

As I reversed the car into the Luak Bay beach house, and took my bags to head up to the house ...

I saw this coconut at the bottom of the stairs. It was the same coconut that I have been playing coconut football with Al E for the past few weeks. A coconut with his teeth marks and shreds on it.

Then I go up and see Al E's water mug, bone, toy, crate, basket, pillow, blanket and all the things that have made the Luak Bay beach house lively and fun ... but no Al E this time.

Al E had quite a interesting journey back to KL and will now be leaving in KL. He will need to get used to life in the city. Thankfully we have a large garden at the back of the house for him to play around.

Al E has surely made my life and I am certain wifey's life in Miri a lot of fun.

Soon, I will be moving back to KL as well. I was hoping it was by now but the HR processes have been taking longer than expected during this huge transition. So, hopefully within the month or so, I will have a chance to move back but we will see.

Being in the Miri home without anyone is like the past before we got Al E. I guess it will be a quiet few weeks. A lot of organization and packing to be done. A lot of change will happen in the next few weeks.

But change we must and change we will.

After all, change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal.

Take care and be well.