Dr Doom and Gloom

Continuing with my Super Hero or Super Villain theme, I sure feel like Doom and Gloom right now.

The feeling around the last couple of days especially is that the situation is bad and is not likely to improve. There's been so much gloom and doom here, I think I should try to provide a smile

Follow all familiar paths now

Accessing all human minds

Injecting my veins with your hatred

My focus never stays the same

Pure! So fresh I can test it

Taste it in my narrow mind

Focus well and inject it

Blindfold my eyes

When my apathy dies

Sure I will rise up and face it

Another day of sunshine lies

This world is made by my fiction

Injected in my body's pride

How long must I reach out

Eating my own vomiting

Is our hearts meant to be broken

Broken within broken this sin

Ten thousand lies

Can't touch me so

In the way that you do

Ten thousand lies

Disregard less why

Can't touch me so hard

Like you.

Irony Man has been defeated by Dr Doom and Gloom. The weekend and the last couple of days have just been just too much that it has sometimes become unbearable, but I just have to and move on.

Firstly, I was feeling a lot of pain in my chest since Saturday and I was pretty unwell.

Then, my wife has been down with the flu and now been diagnosed with one of the many H1NXX flu virus.

I also got a call from the mechanic that the repair of the Hyundai Elantra would cost more than five grand, money that I do not have lying around in my mattress.

My Land Rover Freelander TD4 is still in the workshop and it has been 5 months since the world upside down accident that I had. And it is still not completely fixed.

I got my Maxis bill which is a crazy amount of nearly 4 grand, again for ridiculous charges and I am still unable to get hold of them.

Al E is still not 100% from the cough and sneezing that he has been going through.

My ole man for some reason has been more reserved and crappy.

My sister in law was hit by a car on her 24 year old motorcycle and now has a broken foot and thankfully alive but will be out of work for a month at the least.

Currently, I am spiralling into some level of depression and just need to smile about it. Maybe I am in denial or maybe I am in acceptance.

It has not been an easy week, and it is only Wednesday.

But then, I get an email from a follower of this blog which is as follows:

Hi Mr. Nil,


I am (Name removed), 14 years old, senior HS student, a follower of your blog posts in Nil’s Musings. I have always enjoyed reading your posts, in the fact that I learn and I can apply it to my life. I have always been inspired to make the most of my life worth living by following some of yours tips, and surely they did not harm me, nor the persons close to me. Instead it helped me in becoming a better person. But still, there are some qualities of mine than gets me feeling down and low. For instance, my “DISTANT” personality. Even though I try so hard to be friends with people, I somehow get lost and I found myself introvert and boring and most of the time, I don’t know what to say to, or open  conversations and I found it difficult to answer right back to their questions. I guess it’s because of my low self-esteem compared to my other friends.


Right now, I am in the stage of creating myself, but I just don’t know where to start when so many things bother me so much about myself. Thank you for your time that you spent reading my message. I just don’t know who to open up this problem of mine. I’m hoping that you could respond to me, though I don’t expect it to be right away, and help me on developing myself.


Thank you again. Take care. To God be all the Glory.

Of course I have sent her a short positive reply and her email has also made me think a little. I know my friends and even many strangers are reading my blog and being inspired by my writing and therefore by me.

So, how do I use that to inspire me. I need to be inspired from within. And of course, some inspiration like above from a young reader is always greatly appreciated, it helps me get out of the doom and gloom.

At the end of the day, I need to be in that atmosphere of believer's where everyone is praising and worshiping God and where the presence of God is felt. It is like my young inspiring reader says, To God be all the Glory.

I need to listen to my guardian, I need to seek his guidance, through him and through God, I will be able to come out of this doom and gloom and there is a resolution and peace that is waiting for me.

Please continue sending me emails, sms, facebook messages, comments on the blogs etc. I truly appreciate it, I am grateful. Thank you and I love you all.

Take care and be well.