About Me

I have done a lot of things in my life and have also worked in many different jobs to make a living and to experience life. This blog is just some of my musings, sometimes funny, sometimes inspirational, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, sometimes simple but all the time, it's just me.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking before I knew it and as he grew
He said, "I’m gonna be like you, Dad,
You know I’m gonna be like you"
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you coming home, dad, I don’t know when,
But we'll get together then, Son,
You know we'll have a good time then.
My son turned ten just the other day
He said "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on lets play
can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do" He said "That's okay"
And then he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said "I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m going to be like him"
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you coming home, dad, I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, Son,
You know we'll have a good time then.
Well he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you coming home, Son, I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, Dad,
You know we'll have a good time then.
I’ve long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day........
I said "I'd like to see you if you don’t mind"
He said "I'd love to Dad, if I could find the time.
You see my new jobs a hassle, and the kids have the flu.
But It's sure nice talking to you, Dad,
It's been sure nice talking to you........"
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me,
My boy was just like me..............
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you coming home, Son, I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, Dad
We're gonna have a good time then.
~ Harry Chapin

I really can relate to this song sometimes, quite sadly so.

However, unlike the son in the song, I think I have been quite different.

While I may be critical of those around me and they have also been critical to me, I am filled with love and care.

Unlike the son in the song who does not have time for his father that was barely there when he was growing up, I am here for my father.

Yes, I may call him crappy ole man, because he sometimes is. And as Dr Suess says, those who matter, they do not mind what I write. But those who mind about what I write, well they don't really matter.

Like one of my readers commented, I am releasing and yes it feels wonderful to release the truth as I see it.

My father is a wonderful father. He has always provided for me and the family in terms of monetary needs and anything that we have required for studies like fees, clothes, books etc.

He has provided a safe and comfortable living environment for us to grow up in.

But as I said, sometimes, in his old age at seventy seven, he can be a crappy ole man. And sometimes I feel his heart is so hard and cold that he does not feel love. He surely did at one time, and I hope he can fill his heart with all the love again.

Irrespectively, my father was a busy man, trying to provide for his immediate family as well as his extended family in India who to me sometime seem like a bunch of free-loaders.

As such, my father has been working his butt off for most of his life. So much so that while growing up, we only saw him on Sundays and we had the best Sundays ever.

It did matter that we did not see him much, but we still had a fun time when we did see him.

Anyway, so, when time came, when I was in USA, grappling with acceptance from Columbia University for a fully paid work-study offer to do my PhD in Psychology and on one hand having a father that was really sick and down with a very severe bout of jaundice, I came back for the family.

I have been back since, never looked back. Some years I may have regretted not going to Columbia but in retrospect, I do not.

I managed to meet a wonderful girl who I have been married to nearly 15 years, I managed to spend some quality time with my parents and sadly my mom passed a long time ago, but I spent some wonderful memories with her. And now, my dad lives with me and yes, he can be crappy ole man at times, but I am caring for his needs.

In my previous post, I wrote a scathing blog about my brother. And to continue on that a little, he has been one that has lived his own life. More towards the son in the song above.

So for you folks out there with children or pets, remember, all they want is some time and love from you. Just find time, do not say there is no time. If there is no time, re-evaluate what you are doing in your life because God has given each one of us more than enough time to fill our hearts with infinite love and gratitude to share with everyone.

So to one and to all, infinite love and gratitude to you. I love you, thank you, I am sorry and please forgive me.

Take care and be well.


Ser said...

The song/poem in this entry is so much like your other sibling...someone who is so darn eager to share sorrows rather than happiness...
For him happiness is exclusive and on top of that his friends/acquantances has always seem to be blissful in passing trashy comments in your blog..Oh I forgot, his friend(s) also further comment in your email...tak malu, sendiri tak tahu jaga keluarga sendiri tapi mau jaga tepi kain orang...Kurang asam dia orang tu...
(Note: So for these characters I say Ho'oponopono chants)...

One Woman's Thoughts said...

That crappy ole man loves the beegeebees out of you.

I've grown rather fond of you myself. I think you know what is important in life and your beautiful family and friends appreciate you more than you will ever know.
Many blessings to your loving soul.

Nil said...

Ser, thanks.
One woman - thank you, many blessings to you.
Infinite love and gratitude

Glenda Manus said...

Just happened upon your blog. Your father is lucky to have you - it takes a lot to live with a grumpy old man. My grandfather lived with our family when I was growing up and he could be so unpleasant. None of his other children would have him. My mom, bless her soul, was the daughter-in-law of the family, but she took care of him for the rest of his life. It's a wonderful thing you are doing. And yes, it's ok to vent.

Anonymous said...

Nil, I have four siblings and my family was mostly poor when I was growing up. Later we all succeeded in our lives through education and hardwork. My mother did all that within her means to give us decent lives when we were children and teenagers. Later on, we had to create our own destinies. Interestingly everyone in the family acknowledges my mother's sacrifices.

Sadly today my mother lives alone in a condominium in town. Most of her children are overseas. There are two sons who live closeby. Only one actually cares for her. I often ask myself, how did it all come to this? My mother, who belonged to a high Hindu caste was a very proud, ambitious and illiterate tyrant. But her only desire was to make all her five children climb out of the poverty her husband doesn't get rid off. She hit us when we lost focus, abused us verbally in front of neighbours, denied us of friends and entertainment. Our home was like an examination training camp most of the time.

And now sometimes I am not sure if I really do love my mother and sometimes I think she was the best that could have happened to us. I know that I'll continue to exist in this dilemma until my mother is no longer here and after that it will be too late to do anything about it.