About Me

I have done a lot of things in my life and have also worked in many different jobs to make a living and to experience life. This blog is just some of my musings, sometimes funny, sometimes inspirational, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, sometimes simple but all the time, it's just me.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Crowing Cock and other thoughts

Crowing Cock
It is 4:30am and I have been up since 12:30am. And I hear a cock crowing for the last 45 minutes, must have his biological clock screwed up. When I was living in Bukit Mertajam, my neighbour used to have a rooster in his yard that was always kept covered up. This was what I called the psycho rooster and who could blame it. It would start crowing at 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am, 6am .... it was like a cuckoo clock. I pitied the rooster and now I wonder if this rooster I am hearing in this wonderful island of Borneo is stuck in a similar predicament. 4:45 am and another cock has started to crow. I know the sun comes up early here but not this early.

Migraine
I am having a bloody migraine, part of the reason I cannot sleep. Another is that I feel nauseated. I don't know why and Bu Bu and Bear's Favorite Things song is just not getting my migraine away. Boy, migraine stinks alright. What I'll do is go take a shower, meditate and maybe go to work early, really early. But then again, there are some others using the computers in the office at night... now that's another story.

Thoughts
Robin Sharma in his book The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari writes that every person has an average of 60,000 thoughts a day. That's a staggering figure. Somehow, I feel like I have 100,000 thoughts a day. He also says that you control your thoughts, each and every one of them. Try an experiment, what are you thinking right now? Stop thinking that and change to thinking something else. And you can. So, we control our thoughts and he encourages to train the mind to think positive thoughts all the time. No easy feat I tell you, I am still doing my best to control my thoughts and emotions and feelings to remain positive, and generally succeeding, but just a few thoughts of sadness, hurt, confusion and anger creep in every now and then.

Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words will never hurt me
What a bunch of crap. It is sometimes words or lack of them even that hurt the most. Enough said.

Unconditional love
I wish in my life, sooner than later, that I can seriously and without any doubts whatsoever show unconditional love for my family and my friends. It is not too difficult to show this with my wife, despite everything that we have gone through and will go through, I can unconditionally love her. It has become extremely difficult with other family members and friends. I hope that I will be able to achieve this. Unconditional love is to love someone without any conditions and regardless of his or her actions or beliefs. It is though to love someone irregardless of their actions, because their actions hurt. But I am going to achieve this in my life.

Superpokes and such
Facebook is a great tool, slightly over-rated but nevertheless a great tool. The nice part of it is finding friends, especially some that you have lost contacts with. Some of the applications are also nice. What is funny part about it is that a person that you can physically see and talk to you will sometimes behave very oddly, rudely or just ignore you physically. But then, this same person will go to Facebook and superpoke you, send you a gift, hug you etc etc among all the thousands of actions and things that you can send on Facebook. Mind you, I get plenty of hugs and kisses from my wife when she is here and it is nice when she is not that we are in touch all the time. But to the folks I mention, I just wish sometime I actually get a real hug, a thank you, a smile even. We are all persons and sometimes technology has made us all less personable.

Masks
We all wear masks. The older we get, the more masks we create. We claim to wear masks because we say that we don't want to get hurt. It seems like being honest and open all the time will only lead to us being hurt, that's what I was told. I wear some masks and I am trying to shed them, be honest and open. I think that I will be happier by shedding my masks rather than be hurt. And if somebody attempts to hurt me because of my honesty, then it is their loss cause it should not matter and it should not hurt me. Again not something easy to do, but have you ever seen a child wear a mask. Most children do not wear masks when they are below 5, maybe even below 7. And they are the happiest people I see in my life. So, theory that wearing a mask is protecting me just does not hold any water any more. Time to shed my masks.



It is now 5am. Take care and be well.

2 comments:

macK said...

i'm not saying you're complaining or anything but maybe some people are simply more comfortable superpoking instead?

give them a break. some people do try.

appreciate.

my two sen.

Nil said...

As for facebook and superpokes, - not that I do not appreciate it, I do sincerely appreciate all the pokes and hugs and flowers and such. Maybe I did not make it clear enough. All these does not compare to the real thing; and the real thing, the human touch makes a whole lot of difference, at least to me and I think to people in general. So, I do not expect people to be doing it, but it is really nice when they do, it makes it personal, it makes it nice.

Thanks for your two sen :-) Take care and be well.